Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the universe trying to produce bigger and better idoits. So far, the Universe is winning.

Lightbulbs ∞

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
- None. That's a hardware problem.
How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
1. Two. One always quits in the middle of a project.
2. I think that's a device driver problem.
How many C++ programmers does it take to change a light bulb?
- You're still thinking procedurally. A properly designed light bulb object would inherit a change method from a generic light bulb class, so all you'd have to do is send it a bulb change message.
How many testers does it take to change a light bulb?
- We just find the problems. We don't fix them.
How many developers does it take to change a light bulb?
- The light bulb works fine on the system in my office.
How many Unix hacks does it take to change a light bulb?
- As many as you want; they're all virtual anyway.
How many database people does it take to change a light bulb?
- Three.
How many technical writers does it take to change a light bulb?
- One. Provided there's a programmer around to explain how to do it.

Languages I was interested in ∞

Valgrind for checking memory leaks.
https://blog.cleancoder.com/ ^[ 1 ] was https://web.archive.org/web/20130331231657/http://cleancoder.posterous.com/
http://underhanded-c.org/ ^[ 2 ] was https://web.archive.org/web/20150529160754/http://underhanded.xcott.com:80/
https://ideone.com/
- Online Compiler and IDE >> C/C++, Java, PHP, Python, Perl and 70+ other compilers and interpreters
- Compile various programming languages online. Add input stream, save output, add notes and tags.
http://codepad.org/
- Multi-language online interpreter

[ + ]

1.	^	was https://web.archive.org/web/20130331231657/http://cleancoder.posterous.com/
2.	^	was https://web.archive.org/web/20150529160754/http://underhanded.xcott.com:80/