At least as old as 15-Jan-1992 16:01
Dick King <king at kestrel.arpa>
FENCING is…
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INFERIOR to KARATE
- unless you can get your mugger to agree to let you sharpen sticks
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LESS CHALLENGING than BICYCLING (in traffic)
- you can get hit four times and still be okay
- you only have one opponent, and you know who and where he is
- you get a weapon too
- your reflexes don’t have to be quite as fast
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a COMPROMISE between SOCCER and RUGBY
- in soccer you can’t use any hands, in rugby you use two.
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COMPARABLE to OCEAN SCUBA DIVING
- the fencer gets wetter and stickier and scuzzier, but doesn’t track sand into the house
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a coworker at my office: “fencing is a rediculous sport — try tennis”
- me: [with a straight face] “No matter how good I got at tennis …
[pause], I couldn’t kill anyone with it.”
[this exchange actually happened — honest!]
- me: [with a straight face] “No matter how good I got at tennis …
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BETTER than chess
- you don’t have to wait for your turn
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BETTER than rugby
- if you “pop” a contact lens you’ll probably find it
-
has PROS and CONS with respect to AEROBIC DANCING
- PRO — you don’t have to listen to loud, obnoxious rock music
- neutral — in either activity, if you don’t work hard enough somebody comes and pokes you in the ribs
- CON — instead of skin-tight leotards, the women wear baggy jackets — with built-in metal breastplates, yet.
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DIFFERENT from most sports
- when you don’t get to play for a few weeks, and you “overdo it” your first time out, the “Charley Horses” are asymmetrical
ported