- Man who run in front of car get tired.
- Man who run behind car get exhausted.
- Foolish man give wife grand piano, wise man give wife upright organ.
- Man who walk through airport turnstile sideways going to Bangkok.
- Man with one chopstick go hungry.
- Man who eat many prunes get good run for money.
- Baseball is wrong: man with four balls cannot walk.
- War does not determine who is right, war determine who is left.
- Wife who put husband in doghouse soon find him in cat house.
- Man who fight with wife all day get no piece at night.
- Man who drive like hell, bound to get there.
- Man who stand on toilet is high on pot.
- Man who live in glass house should change clothes in basement.
- Man who fart in church sit in own pew.
- Crowded elevator smell different to midget.
- Man who wants pretty nurse, must be patient.
- Man who love and loses, have not right lawyer.
- When man 60 marry girl 25, like buying book for someone else to read.
- Man who pushes piano down mineshaft get A flat miner.
- Television never replace old reliable key hole.
- Laziest man in world who marry widow with six children.
- Man who put head on railroad track get splitting headache.
- Girl who do back spring on bedspring have offspring next spring.
- Man who fall in vat of molten glass make spectacle of self.
- Honeymoon over when man who whispered sweet nothings before now say nothing sweet.
- Man who sneezes without hanky takes matters into his own hands.
- Man who walk middle of road get run over by bus.
- Man who eat jellybean relieve self in technicolor.
- Man who keep feet firmly on ground have trouble putting on pants!
- Man who sit on tack get point!
- A girl’s best asset is her ‘lie’ability.
- He who eats crackers in bed get crummy sleep.
- Eunuch not strange creature, just man cut out to be bachelor.
- Man who dream of eating giant mushroom—wake up with no pillow.
- Butcher who backs into meat grinder get a little behind in his orders.
- Chemist who fall in acid, absorbed in work.
- Man do not mind bust in mouth if provided by beautiful voluptuous lady.
- Man become old when he watch food instead of waitress.
- Wise man never play leapfrog with a unicorn.
- Man who drop watch in toilet have crappy time.
- Man trapped in pantry have himself in jam.
- Women take to good hearted men. Also from.
- Man who shoot off mouth, expect to lose face.
- Man with big mouth, beware of foot.
- House without bathroom, uncanny.
- Man who throw dirt, losing ground.
- Two wrongs not make right, but two rights make U-turn
- Do not drink and park, accidents cause people.
- Man who crosses ocean twice without washing, is a dirty double crosser.
- He who have last laugh, not get joke.
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Man who throw away watch, wasting time.
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