At least as old as 10-Dec-1991 05:41
"How's it going, Mr. Peterson?"
"Poor."
"I'm sorry to hear that."
"No, I mean pour."
"How about a cold one, Norm?"
"Oh, I left her at home."
"How's the world treating you?"
"Like a baby treats a diaper."
"How's life treating you, Norm?"
"Like it caught me sleeping with its' wife."
"Women. Can't live with 'em, pass the beer nuts."
"What's going down, Normie?"
"My butt cheeks on that bar stool."
"Hey, Norm, what's shakin'?"
"All four cheeks and a couple of chins."
"How's life in the fast lane?"
"Dunno, can't get on the on-ramp."
"Pour you a beer, Mr. Peterson."
"Alright, but stop me at one.... make that one-thirty."
"Evening, Woody"
"Good evening, Mr. Peterson. What can I get you?"
"Oh, I'll take whatever comes out of that tap"
(poouring into a glass) "It's beer, Mr. Peterson"
"Just call me Mr. Lucky"
"How's it going Mr. Peterson?"
"It's a dog eat dog world, Woody, and I'm wearing Milk-Bone underwear!"
"What's the story, Norm?"
"Boy meets beer. Boy drinks beer. Boy meets another beer."
"What do you say to a beer, Mr. Peterson?"
"Going down."
"How about a beer, Norm?"
"That's that amber sudsy stuff, right? I've heard good things about it!"
"Hi Mr. Peterson. what's your pleasure"
"Loose socks and boxer shorts!"
"What's going on, Mr. Peterson?"
"The question is what's going in Mr. Peterson. A beer please, Woody."
"What's up, Normie?"
"My nipples, it's freezing out there."
"Evenin' Mr. Peterson, Jack Frost nippin' at your nose?"
"Yeah, now let's have Joe Beer nippin' at my liver."
</posting>
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At least as old as =29-Apr-1992 01:43=
<posting>
No Help Wanted:
Coach: Can I draw you a beer, Norm?
Norm: No, I know what they look like. Just pour me one.
Coach: How about a beer, Norm?
Norm: Hey I'm high on life, Coach. Of course, beer is my life.
Fortune and Men's Weights:
Coach: How's a beer sound, Norm?
Norm: I dunno. I usually finish them before they get a word in.
Coach: What's up, Norm?
Norm: Corners of my mouth, Coach.
Snow Job:
Coach: What's shaking, Norm?
Norm: All four cheeks and a couple of chins, Coach.
Coach: Beer, Normie?
Norm: Uh, Coach, I dunno, I had one this week.
Eh, why not, I'm still young.
Norman's Conquest:
Coach: Normie, Normie, could this be Vera?
Norm: With a lot of expensive surgery, maybe.
I'll Be Seeing You (Part 2)
Coach: What's up, Normie?
Norm: The temperature under my collar, Coach.
Diane Meets Mom:
Coach: What would you say to a nice beer, Normie?
Norm: Going down?
Coach: What's up, Norm?
Norm: Everything that's supposed to be.
Peterson Crusoe:
Norm comes in, depressed. He just stands by the door with a sullen face.
Norm: [mutters] Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm? (Norman?)
The Heart is a Lonely Snipehunter:
Sam: What's new, Normie?
Norm: Terrorists, Sam. They've taken over my stomach.
They're demanding beer.
King of the Hill:
Coach: What'll it be, Normie?
Norm: Just the usual Coach. I'll have a froth of beer and a snorkel.
The Mail Goes to Jail:
Coach: What would you say to a beer, Normie?
Norm: Daddy wuvs you.
Behind Every Great Man:
Sam: What'd you like, Normie?
Norm: A reason to live. Gimme another beer.
Norm: Afternoon, everybody.
All: Norm!
Cliff: Afternoon, everybody.
All: [silence]
The Executive's Executioner:
Sam: What will you have, Norm?
Norm: Well, I'm in a gambling mood, Sammy. I'll take a glass of whatever
comes out of that tap.
Sam: Oh, looks like beer, Norm.
Norm: Call me Mister Lucky.
Tan 'n Wash:
Paul: Hey Norm, how's the world been treating you?
Norm: Like a baby treats a diaper.
Norm: Hey, everybody.
All: [silence; everybody is mad at Norm for being rich]
Norm: [carries on both sides of the conversation himself]
Norm! (Norman.)
How are you feeling today, Mr. Peterson?
Rich and thirsty. Pour me a beer.
Home is the Sailor: [the bar is completely different, since Sam went
sailing around the world and sold the bar]
Norm: Hey, everybody.
Woody: Norm! [nobody else in the bar says anything]
Norm: That's it, I'm leaving .
Norm: [comes in, pretending to be Joe Average customer,
as part of operation Wayne Down the Dwain]
Customer: Norm!
Norm: [quietly] Not now!
Little Carla, Happy at Last, Part 2:
Woody: Would you like a beer, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: No, I'd like a dead cat in a glass.
A Kiss is Still a Kiss:
Sam: How's life treating you?
Norm: It's not, Sammy, but you can!
Let Sleeping Drakes Lie:
Woody: Can I pour you a draft, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: A little early, isn't it Woody?
Woody: For a beer?
Norm: No, for stupid questions.
Airport V:
Woody: What's the story, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: The Bobbsey twins go to the brewery.
Let's cut to the happy ending.
One Happy Chappy in a Snappy Serape, Part 2:
Pepe: [something in Spanish; I don't speak Spanish, so I don't
know what he said.]
It's a Wonderful Wife:
Woody: What's going on, Mr. Peterson?
Norm: Another layer for the winter, Wood.
Q: Whatcha up to Norm? (said by Sam)
A: My ideal weight if I were eleven feet tall.
Cliff: Anybody want to play a game of darts
Norm: I'll play you for a beer
Cliff: Oh, a little wager
Norm: No, If you give me a beer, I'll play you.
ported