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At least as old as 14-Jan-1992 16:54

Required Texts ∞

1. Inter-personal Person Dynamics
2. Person to Person Communication; Break the E-Mail Barrier
3. Self Image; the Florescent Tan
4. UNIX Commands; How to Use Them, Abuse Them and Misuse Them
5. How to Deal with Students without a Real Major
6. Fortune 1K Companies
7. I’m an EECS Major and You’re O.K.
8. 101 Ways to Configure Power Cords
9. CRC Math Tables
10. last year’s labs
11. La Jolla’s Hottest Beaches
12. Liberal Arts; Just Say No
13. Money; Where did it All Go?

14. Why this Major–For the Dough!

Pre-Requisite Qualities of an EECS Major ∞

1. patience, patience, and more patience
2. fanatical devotion for perfection and detail
3. prefer working in the wee hours of the morning
4. ability to remain seated for 12 hour shifts
5. conceit
6. ability to think/function when in a highly caffeinated state

7. got what it takes

Top 6 Drinks ∞

1. drink for C++ called Class; strong yet undefined that leaves a slightly bitter after-taste,60%
2. Coffee,80%
3. Classic Coke,90%
4. Jolt, 5%
5. beer, 80%

6. martini, dry.Shaken. Not stirred..000001%

Top 5 Physical Clues to an EECS Major ∞

1. pale skin from being in the lab/terminal room too much
2. bags under eyes from being in the lab/terminal room too much
3. a harried look from being in the lab/terminal room too much
4. unkept, rumpled clothing from being in the lab/terminal room too much

5. jittery from caffeine withdrawal from being in the lab/terminal room too much

Required Accessories from Gentleman’s Quarterly and Cosmopolitan ∞

1. mechanical pencils
2. “click” erasers
3. programmable calculators
4. black electrical tape
5. digital watch, either “loaded” or Kmart quality
6. green engineers paper
7. “stuffed” backpack
8. quarters for the soft drink/candy machine
9. Walkman (optional)

10. glasses (optional)

Top 10 Wishes of an EECS Major (not necessarily in order) ∞

1. sleep
2. lack of caffeine withdrawal symptoms
3. enough time for a social life
4. programs written and debugged in one day
5. own computer lab
6. own hardware lab
7. tar and feathering certain profs and T.A.s ^[ 1 ] Teaching Assistants
8. various material deemed unfit to print
9. picked another major

10. sleep

Acceptable Appearance ∞

1. bags under eyes
2. no tan
3. unshaven

4. smeared make-up

Acceptable Attire ∞

1. jeans
2. shorts
3. sneakers
4. sandals
5. tank tops
6. dress shirt, slacks and a tie (going to or coming from an interview or work)
7. dress or skirt, hose and makeup (going to or coming from an interview or work)

8. rumpled clothes

CS’s Do for Fun ∞

1. crash, infiltrate the operating system
2. play video arcade games

3. hack the X.

EE’s Do for Fun ∞

1. reverse the polarity on components and watch them fry
2. beef up their stereos

3. hack the X.

Top 5 Activities EECS Majors do in their Free Time ∞

1. .
2. .
3. .
4. .

5. .

(Yes, intentionally blank!)

Top 6 Social Events ∞

1. job fair
2. job interviews
3. SWE meetings
4. IEEE meetings
5. office hours

6. class

Normal Behavior ∞

1. squinting
2. E-mailing people you’ve never met before

3. getting very silly over nothing in the wee hours of the morning

Typical Quarter Projects ∞

(taking into account time constraints, resource availability, course load and student knowledge of this new language/topic)

1. program a simulation of the world in 60 M or less
2. optimize the Cray (supercomputer) using Cobol
3. re-wire MSEE using superconductivity, fiber-optics and a concrete power saw
4. simulate a rock band with 70 IC chips, 40 feet of wire, a tweeter and a bazooka