spiralofhope

Entertainment > Movies >

https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3630556/

Passing the Earth undetected somehow, a rogue planet tips it over.

It’s not bad in most places, but its resolution is absolutely terrible. I don’t know if I could recommend this just for light viewing, even with the pretty girl in it.

Denyse Tontz is pretty.

• 0:30 — Global catastrophic risk, impact event
• 0:35 — That doesn’t happen.
• 0:50 — Out of gas? That’s kindof sad.
• 1:15 — 2 weeks earlier.
• 1:40 — Blogosphere
• 2:35 — Seriously, letting some stoner raid your kitchen?
• What, we don’t get to see at least a bit of the conversation? (With his .. children, I presume.)
• 3:15 — And again with the call. But .. the audience doesn’t get to see this.
• 3:30 — Oh, is it going to finally happen?
• 4:45 — It’s not that hard to take some time off.
• I didn’t catch where she was. Or for that matter where any of them are.
• 5:20 — Holy shit, the size of something to eclipse the sun.. would be staggering. Like a planet or something.
• 6:55 — “Sounded like an accident.” .. no, it sounded like a bombing.
• 7:00 — “C’mon, somebody might be hurt.” Bwahahaha…
• 7:15 — .. ‘whoa’, amirite?
• 7:30 — Holy shit the Earth is spinning fast. I guess this is meant to be a timelapse of sorts?
• Oh, it is.
• 12:00 — I recognize that actor.
• 12:20 — Called it.
• 14:55 — That’s the earth spinning, and with half the earth not pointed at the sun, and half not pointed away.
• 16:00 — And they also fill up a shitload of gas cans, and pack the back of the van with them. Right?
• 16:50 — Leaving the gas cap off means the gasoline will evaporate, right?
• 17:15 — Oh, that’s why Keanu died earlier.
• 18:00 — Why is she back? What happened between then and now?
• So it’s not Los Angeles. Then where was she again?

• 19:00 — White knighting.

  • So Mr. Friendzoned must travel with the wife/mother. Because reasons and a possible future blowjob. Or something.
• 20:15 — Yes, there are still stupid people.
• 21:15 — I see a gas can at the lower-left.
• 22:30 — Wut. No, she’s a frail flower who needs to be taken care of. They all had the same access to water, and she drank more of it than them. She’s full of shit.
• 26:10 — What’s that, the flower is also scared? Aww, poor widdle baybe.
• I would have given Matt a gun as a gesture of good will.
• 30:00 — There may have been supplies in the house.
• 34:00 — Are there two pipes, or are they on opposite sides of a hill or something? I’m confused as to why they aren’t in the same one.
• Oh, opposite sides. But not in the middle for some reason.
• 34:45 — Ow.
• 42:30 — Burying the body, of course. Something I would have suggested had the gun been trained on me.
• 44:00 — Called it. But this one was easy.
• 46:00 — Oh noes, the glass door is locked. How ever could one enter?
• 46:30 — How could they be expected to save Matt?
• The old ‘all men are rapists’ trope.
• 48:40 — No, can we stay and get raped? Pwetty pwease?
• Why did he act so rude to them? Who gives a shit about them if they want to stay.. they’ve been nothing but dead weight.
• 51:50 — So.. why is there caution tape?
• 53:45 — Drone.
• 54:10 — Are these girls stupid? Their companions already said the military would be protecting savehaven.
• 1:01:00 — But they were wearing body armour. So. Uh.
• Shouldn’t they take the car? Maybe because of GPS tracking or some such– wait, that probably wouldn’t work any more because of meteors and planet turning and shit.
• 1:01:45 — She’s protected by plot. He’s too secondary to waste additional budget on. She has some other people to act beside now, so it’s all good.
• 1:05:20 — But I liked that character. He was so aweso– oh screw that guy.
• 1:09:00 — I could clearly see a pistol pointed at one of the girls.
• 1:10:25 — Oh god, I was hoping they wouldn’t go there.
• 1:11:00 — Uh, but. But. Are they hoping to eject a chunk of our atmosphere to move the planet?
• 1:11:30 — Uh, how could he tell it was Rachael?
• 1:14:00 — So. How are they getting guns? They weren’t given them. Wait, they were given a car? Aren’t those, like, in high demand right about now?
• I don’t understand why combined nukes are necessary. The USA alone has enough nukes to sterilize the planet a few times over.
• GPS won’t work. Just fucking tell them to follow a road or something.
• 1:16:30 — So the writer can use a pistol. But this was never established. Let’s just assume it’s because he’s ‘murikan.
• 1:18:30 — He’s left-handed and therefore evil.
• 1:20:00 — It’s not a fridge with wheels, but maybe the car will save them from a nuke. Uh. Or probably not.
• 1:20:30 — Umm. 7 1/2 minutes to drive away from.. how many nukes, plus something about igniting a fossil fuel reserve.. I’m sure our heroes will survive.
• A meteor hits the car. Roll credits.
• 1:22:00 — Why are they waiving? Also, wasn’t he shot in the shoulder?
• A meteor hits the helicopter. Roll credits.
• 1:23:00 — “Well let’s just say it was the right thing to do.” .. sigh.
• A meteor hits the helicopter. Roll credits.
• The helicopter doesn’t outrun the nuclear shitstorm. Roll credits.
• 1:23:40 — Even in that explosion it’s clear to see that everything in a stupid area is obliterated. The helecopter is well within that stupid area, even if it was a two hour drive to get to the girls.
• 1:24:30 — Didn’t he get shot in the shoulder? That’s a lot of reaching for a man with a wound. I guess his shirt got shot and it was the one that was bleeding. Briefly bleeding. But it’s okay it stopped on its own.
• I guess the helicopter was a fridge with rotors for this movie.

• aaaand.. there’s no fucking ending at all?