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(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4600952/

An evil scientist works to realize his vision, but his previous superhero creations are assembled to go against him.

Russia’s answer to Marvel, I guess. High-budget and shockingly-poorly executed. Odd and badly-written, it’s not bad enough to be fun and funny. I recommend this movie for people who are tired of all the superhero movies.. it is like a vegetable cleanse.

• Trailer

  • The song in the trailer is a clip from Защитники by Юлия Терещенко (on YouTube)
• previously titled “Zaschitniki”
• aka “The Guardians”

• early rumours of this movie mis-titled it “Defenders” [ 1 ]

• https://www.facebook.com/argunovstudio

  • Teaser

• subtitles

  • edited subtitles
    – Imperfect, but pretty good. The timing wasn’t looked at.

The Fairtastic Four

Captain Russia

• 9:30 — Okay, I get it.. but.. where are the guards?
• 10:15 — See also Terminator 3 – Rise of the Machines – (2003 movie) and its machine-controlling. At least it had more believable suspension of disbelief.
• 21:15 — This isn’t a very good show.
• 25:15 — She has the power to not have cold feet in bed.
• 25:30 — Borscht
• 25:45 — Why is she all upset, this is stupid.
• 26:00 — What does she have to offer? The ability to take notes and live to be a first-person witness next century?
• 27:15 — Handy that it’s raining.
• 27:45 — One day a superhero like that will take off his shirt first.
• 28:30 — I thought she could regulate her body temperature. How was she seen by infra-red?
• 29:45 — Assault rifle shots pierce stone.
• 35:00 — If he doesn’t need their help, then why are they alive?

• 44:15 — I just realized that if they had a knife in there, then super-speedy could just cut stuff a lot and maybe dig their way out.

  • Or maybe he was injected with some slowness drug, or maybe the walls are too hard for that knife or something..
• 47:00 — Why is she all sensitive?
• 51:00 — Ronald Reagan, Strategic Defense Initiative
• 51:45 — All machines. His super power makes no sense.

• 52:15 — Federation Tower, Moscow – Russia

  • I’m guessing “Estofield tower” is fictional. I didn’t look very hard. Possibly see List of Moscow Kremlin towers.
• 53:30 — This isn’t very exciting when the pilots aren’t actually doing anything.
• 54:00 — So now we learn why this guy is also moody?

• 56:45 — Actually he did have access to rocks all the time. So yeah anyways here’s a suit with some rocks we glued to it.

  • I guess now he can sort of control those rocks and has powered armor now..
• 1:02:30 — There are a lot of tires scattered about.
• 1:04:15 — They ran out of missiles?
• 1:05:15 — Umm. I’m pretty sure it took a snout-full of bullets just there.
• 1:06:15 — Oh please tell me I’m going to get an invisible bear with a vulcan gun.
• 1:06:30 — Oh that little tail waggle.
• 1:08:15 — I thought the tower had an electromagnetic shield or some such..
• 1:08:45 — Why why why?.. what’s all this about?.. why did he need to go by aircraft?

• 1:11:15 — Who could melt steel? I’ve never seen anyone melt steel.

  • Oh, some reference to the generator being dangerous, but that was never really established.
• 1:13:45 — He dropped the blades a moment ago.
• 1:16:00 — Oh come on, at least show him using his super power to justify a knife cutting through a steel cable.
• 1:16:30 — Oh, he kept his pants. Somehow.
• 1:18:15 — Okay, so this was hinted at earlier, sort of, but this is really confusing.
• 1:20:00 — No terrorists claimed responsibility, yet there were piles of mercenaries.
• 1:21:00 — silence is golden is a proverb.

• 1:21:30 — Okay, who even is this character? She makes no damned sense.

  • Was the betrayal of the commander-guy never discovered?

• TO BE CONTINU– haha just kidding.

Footnotes

1. was youtube.com/watch?v=7V_pC-ggZqc [ ↩ ]