Comedy > Employment >
- I can see your point, but I still think you’re full of shit.
- I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don’t give a fuck.
- How about “never”? Is “never” good for you?
- It sounds like English, but I can’t understand a word you’re saying.
- I see you’ve set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
- Ahhh, I see the fuck-up fairy has visited us again.
- You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.
- I’m already visualising the duct tape over your mouth.
- Are you coming on to me or having a seizure?
- The fact that no one understands you doesn’t mean you’re an artist.
- Can I trade this job for what’s behind door #2?
- Well, aren’t we just a ray of fucking sunshine?
- Not the brightest crayon in the box now, are we?
- Don’t bother me. I’m living happily ever after.
- Do I look like a fucking people person?
- This isn’t an office. It’s Hell with fluorescent lighting.
- I pretend to work. They pretend to pay me.
- Therapy is expensive, popping bubble wrap is cheap! You choose.
- Practice random acts of intelligence & senseless acts of self-control.
- Did the aliens forget to remove your anal probe?
- Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.
- And your cry-baby whiny-assed opinion would be…?
- Sarcasm is just one more service we offer
- Do they ever shut up on your planet?
- I’m just working here till a good fast-food job opens up.
- I’m trying to imagine you with a personality.
- A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.
- How many times do I have to flush before you go away?
- I just want revenge. Is that so wrong?
- I work 40 hours a week to be this poor.
- Too many freaks, not enough circuses.
- Just smile and say “Yes, Mistress.”
- Chaos, panic, and disorder – my work here is done.
- Is it time for your medication or mine?
- How do I set a laser printer to stun?
- I’m not tense, just terribly, terribly alert.
- When I want your opinion, I’ll give it to you.
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Stress is when you wake up screaming & you realize you haven’t fallen asleep yet.
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