Comedy >
Source not recorded; at least as old as 15-Jan-1992 15:59
I also have a note that says this was public domain, but I don’t know where I learned that
First of all, fluorescent pickles contain hazardous voltages and can be dangerous if misused. Unless you are sure of what you are doing, have a licensed electrician wire your pickles for you. (Hi regis! [ 1 ] Is this a reference to Regis Philbin[doesn’t exist]? )
Take a large whole pickle. Take two 2″ nails. Take an extension cord. Preferably, take them from your housemates because they will not be reuseable later on… It helps to have a lava-lite too…
Put the pickle on a ceramic plate. Put a nail in each end of the pickle.
Cut the receptacle end off the extension cord, and strip each of the two wires about 2.5 cm (1 inch to you archaics). It’s a good idea to unplug the extension cord before cutting into it.
Wrap one of the wires from the extension cord tightly around one of the nails.
Wrap the other wire around the other nail. Make sure the nails are nowhere close to touching inside the pickle.
Put on safety glasses. Put plate on heat-resistant flooring. Stand back.
Dim room lights. Put on romantic music– something by the Doors is always good. Plug in extension cord.
—>DO NOT TOUCH ENERGIZED PICKLE!<—
Within thirty seconds or so, the pickle will start to glow with a flickering green light. This light gets brighter as the pickle warms up (yes, pickles need to warm up, just like TV sets). The flickering green light is very 60’s-ish.
When the pickle starts to make a really bad smell, unplug.
Do not try to fix the burned-out pickle. They are all solid state, and like the label says, “Do not remove cover. No user serviceable parts inside.”
-Bill (V for Vindaloo) Yerazunis
Footnotes
| ^ 1 | Is this a reference to Regis Philbin[doesn’t exist]? |
