Iron Man is a prick, dooming the world unless The Avengers can save it.
Another comic book movie. Meh. I'm sure it made money, but it makes no contributions to anything whatsoever. Recommended for pop comic book movie fans.
Properly titled Avengers: Age of Ultron.
- So much shit going on at the start.
- How in the hell does Hydra have that many people?
- So they're calling mutants "enhanced"?
- And .. NOW there's the logo? What the hell..
- Stark isn't the least bit curious as to his hallucination? Or is his dismissal part of the mindfuck?
- The old "magic is really science" thing is annoying.
- Wait, how did they "deep 6" the data back there? He was copying it.
- How is Captain America unable to afford a place?
- How could any man trust Romanov, when she can use her wiles. I'm looking at you, Inara of Firefly - (2002 show).
- "There are no strings on me" is from Pinocchio, probably Pinocchio (1940).
- Nukes aren't internet-accessible.
- The lights on his keyboard are still on.
- So Ultron has a suit, which was presumably created in the hours during the party, but then he has magic zappy fingers which.. I guess were already prototyped? Alright, I'll go with that.
So what's wtih Romanov's Tron-suit?
- Just how stupid does anyone have to be to think the Hulk could be captured from all sides and above, and have the floor be ignored?
- So he can pull off the roof of cars and murder men, but only scare women. Yay sexism.
- The Hulk versus anything that can't outright kill him is a losing fight. The Hulk can regenerate. Iron Man is no match. Oh, he can put his arm back on. Does he have unlimited arms?
- Since when can the Hulk have a tooth broken?
- That looks like a controlled demolition.
- Who the fuck has an American flag on the side of their house?
- Hawkeye is basically the Aquaman of this team. Except Both are technically awesome in their element but kindof pointless out of it.
- No, the world did not see the Hulk for the first time.
- Why wait for graduation for sterilization? I'd do the basics near birth and then remove their uterus as early as possible. No period, no hassle.
- Blah blah win a war before it starts innocent people die. Yeah whatever, as though war itself doesn't have innocent people dying.
- Huh, who threw the dart past Iron Man? Was that Hawkeye?.. because I couldn't see it.
- The witch could manipulate Ultron's mind.
- So how in the hell could the Scarlet Witch un-mind-control what's-her-face?
- So the finger-zap can knock Iron Man back but only wounds the woman. Because girl-power. Well, the secondary women got killed, maybe.
- I'm confused about Ultron's sudden telekinetic powers.
- Not made of vibranium, how come Ultron doesn't get shredded by the jet's bullets?
- What the fuck, face-thrusters?
- So if Jarvis was unable to communicate with the outside world (like Stark) then how did he get to the internet?
- The movable lips of Ultron weird me out.
- Aww, the arrow to the eye trick, stolen from Legolas. Which was probably stolen from somewhere else.
- You see, the thing with a meteor coming down is that Ultron is below it. So, uh. This makes no sense.
- It's really annoying that all the civilians are just fine. Nobody dies. Ever.
- How come the cop yelling "hold your fire!" doesn't have an accent like the twins? Oh the twins, who .. by the way, don't look like twins. Just saying.
- So the shield carrier doesn't have its own armaments? Riiiight.
- Fast-twin doesn't seem to care about being shot through the arm.
- Oh, his arm isn't so bad, apparently it was a scratch.
- See, the thing about exploding shit is that the energy is still there, falling. Absolutely nothing changes when it's broken into bits. Bits were shown falling into water. Now, maybe some justification can be made for disintegration.
Obnoxious credits tie-in to some other movie. This shit never ends..
Wait, now that I think of it, what's the deal with Ultron having multiple bodies and being able to.. well, be any of them when the present one dies? I mean, maybe it's some wacky internet thing, but that makes zero sense. Maybe there are magical wireless connections in buttfuck wherever they were fighting, but would that work when it's torn away from the earth? Maybe it has its own satellite or something. Still, .,. well none of it makes sense.
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