Roleplaying, gamers (roleplayers) > Issues in GMing >
I came upon a note I wrote in 2006-03-05 or earlier.
I avoid roleplaying with women for concerns over chastity, atmosphere influences, favouritism and pathetic newbie girl roleplayers.
I thought a bit about it and I figured I'd write on it.. since I've changed, and circumstances have changed.
The above is an opinion I held for a good decade before writing that note.
Things are all manner of different now. Obviously, I and the other players would be older.
The market ∞
Roleplaying isn't immature. It's now an industry, and has been for some time now. The market was geared for boys and men because it was made by boys and men for boys and men. The notions found in early roleplaying and its games are things which don't interest most girls and do interest most boys; rules, tactics, fighting.
Girls want to be included in fucking everything. "Tee hee I'm a girl (twirls hair) I wanna try.." will never end. There ends up being "that friend" who brings his girlfriend, and everything has to grind to a halt to deal with her idiocy. It's not just that she's new, nobody gives a flying fuck when somebody is new, but that she doesn't have the brain for it. She's not a tactical thinker and would otherwise not have the personality to have been naturally interested. She wants to invade her boyfriend's hobbies. She wanted to be included.
At some point in the late 90s the market began more aggressively shifting to include a wider market. That is, as it "sold out" into more commercial viability and a broader audience, it started changing itself to appeal to.. well to broads.
The changes ∞
Women and men are different. Things can be shown to babies in a crib and their interest can be measured. Faces for girls, objects for boys. Toys can be given to children and they will play differently. The boy will stack and crash blocks, the girl will arrange and name them.
Where the initial qualities of roleplaying games and the act of roleplaying itself were decidedly male, featuring sweeping strategy, careful tactics and bloody heroism, games began including more "role playing". Storylines, storytelling, backgrounds and the like became more and more important.
There's a good argument that these things are either an inevitability of a maturing industry or the result of increasing competition. There's also an argument for these and other things to become more "essential" as the audience broadens.
What women want ∞
Pointing fingers or guessing aren't going to help. There's no way to really understand what went on. All we know is that the style of what's available changed at the same time as the inclusion of more and different players.
Men pioneer, invent and create. At some point when everything is "safe" or when there's some tipping point of popularity, women will rush in. This is how things are, not because of some cultural bullshit, but because of differing interests and actions between them. A free market then shifts to accommodate (and take advantage of) a widening market.
Pink was a boys colour. Leslie was a boy's name. High heels were for cavalrymen.
"Safe" roleplaying ∞
Roleplaying has become a safe, stable, market. Now there are lots of choices, but not too many. There are lots of games, products and services to cater to whomever is left playing. It's not niche any more, and the nerds have long-since been outed.
The surge of "I'm a girl gamer, I'm cool!" players are now long gone, leaving the original female gamers where they always were. Too much time has passed to think of the playerbase as having many of its original participants, but the popularity has died down enough that its players are actual new-school gamers, casually interested or are ideologues witch-hunting for sexism as their college art project.
My original thesis no longer holds ∞
I avoid roleplaying with women for concerns over chastity, atmosphere influences, favouritism and pathetic newbie girl roleplayers.
Chastity is just an observation of how one is influenced in the presence of another. That ties into the atmosphere influences. Boys are different around girls, period. No woman has ever met a man being a man. Forgetting actions, men's cognitive capability is reduced around women, even those they're not attracted to.
The atmosphere has such a stark difference, that there is significantly more fun when men can get together without women. Without them in their company, without them in earshot, without them peeking in, without them texting, without them dropping off or picking up. Complete absence. Women have it as a matter of course, but the concept of a "guys night out" is sexist. Women love their double-standards, such things the foundation of their pervasive privilege.
Favoritism could be as bad as a shift that's nearly cheating for a woman, or multiple players chiming in or making suggestions. This can be frequent for mature players helping a new one, irrespective of who they are, but it's astonishingly frequent and bold for a woman, even when she herself is a mature player. Part of the problem is with the female mind not normally being interested in the tactics side of things, and all the others wanting to genuinely help. Part is that men are biologically driven to be nice to women. No, men do not treat women as equals. They treat them better. Far better.
How many homeless women are there? How many services for women in need are there? How many services are there for women who aren't even in need?
Pathetic newbie girl roleplayers are still a thing, and this is usually leveraged as a tool for a girl to force inclusion because she wants her hooks in some guy. "I'm a girl, include me because vagina" will always be seen in all things and in roleplaying, even when roleplaying is literally free. Entire rulesets and worlds are available online for free. Not pirated, released by major companies for free. No gaming store turns down a customer based on some appearance, and if that were a problem then there are other stores, online stores, second-hand purchases and even libraries have had rulebooks for years and years. There are zero barriers. As in everything else in a free market, there is zero sexism. Profit is blind. Profit is inclusive.
Barriers exist when a girl wants to insinuate herself into someone else's circle of friends instead of doing the work to start her own. In this sense there are still the newbies around, and this is the primary reason I'm extra-distrustful of new and especially young girl gamers.
My groups ∞
I insist on men-only groups. Not new players, and not young players. All males, and all proper manly man men who all want to game the same way. Proper hack-and-slash heroism while watching Conan the Barbarian - (1982 movie), eating steak and drinking beer. No concern over how we look and act, and what we say. No cooing over a girl or worrying about breaking a wife's curfew.
"Chick gamers" no longer exist, but girl gamers do. Even then, they are best saved for others. Any boy or man who has only ever gamed while including one or more girls or women, even the most competent and compatible of them, I urge to form or join a second group game without them. The difference is truly startling.
There's a reason men who have "man time" with groups of friends will live longer.
Of course women will be upset, especially women who aren't even gamers to begin with. "But I have a vagina, I must be included in everything!" is no reason to latch on in a free market. Girls and women can go do their own thing and shouldn't feel bad at not being included when men and boys say they need their own night out. Women insist on having them. Having them and being bold about being sexist and exclusionary. Girls and women should give others a god damned break from them, for once.
"Equality for women" is inequality against men. If women can do a thing with just women in their own way, men can do a thing with just men in their own way. Equality goes both ways. There is only "equality" and not kinds of equality or circumstances of equality or equality of outcome. Women are allowed girls nights out. Men must be allowed guys nights out.
For me, my roleplaying is an activity in a guys night out.
