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(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1291150/
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An under-appreciated reporter learns her father’s secret experiments had survived his death, in the form of vigilante ninjas.
I had low expectations for this movie, and they were met.
I read the comics, I watched the TV show, I got blackout drunk and woke up in 2019, let’s see what kind of shitshow this will turn out to be.
- 1:30 — No, I’m pretty sure the Foot Clan is not a reference to stepping over people.
- 2:00 — Maybe get into their actual backstory? This.. this is just bad.
- 3:00 — Why would he call her a persistent human?
- 5:45 — That scene is brought to you by Microsoft Skype.
- 7:45 — Oh what the fuck is that.. shipping containers being thrown around like that..
- 10:30 — Superman
- 13:30 — Okay look. I know more of the backstory, but it does seem like complete bullshit that Shredder is talking about “reclaiming this city” when their feud is from ancient Japan.
- 17:00 — Chopsticks (music)
- 22:15 — Why not take her camera and leave her?
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26:00 —
- 32:15 — Pizza Hut
- 39:30 — Yes they did list a bunch of superhero (and not superhero) bases.
- 42:30 — I’m sorry, did that camera have bluetooth? Was that a thing?
- 50:45 — Orange Crush
- 1:01:30 — Yes, rabbits have already been done.
- 1:03:45 — That’s not cover.
- 1:07:00 — Maybe at least make some excuse as to their reaction to the adrenaline. But really.. that’s not a replacement for blood.
- 1:07:45 — Where did Shredder go?
- 1:08:45 — No they’re not fucking bulletproof..
- 1:14:30 — I thought his shell was cracked.
- 1:16:00 — He can type in that armour?
- 1:20:45 — How many shots does that gun have?
- 1:22:30 — Buck buck
- 1:26:15 — That’s all that’s left, except for the four turtles over there.
- 1:28:15 — .. and a cloud of mutagin billows out, mutating a ten block radius.
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1:28:45 —
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1:31:30 — How does Splinter know they really worked together?
