Quality Assurance Reports aren't ALL boring...
... So there's this old QAR floating around from the VMS Version 4.0 database that came to light today. VMS has this 'wonderful' little feature that allows people to have 'totally' random passwords generated for them. The user decides to change his/her password to a generated string by asking for
SET PASSWORD/GENERATE. Lists of five passwords are shown and the user can choose from each list or ask for a new list, until they are happy.
So it was noticed early on in the development of the code for this little command that certain strings must not appear in these random passwords. For example, the f-word and its ilk. Hence, the passwords became 'random' (quoted), meaning that certain random ones would be banned.
To implement this, a list of twelve or so in the Most Offensive Verbiage was placed into the code, each letter being replaced by the following letter in the alphabet in order that we not ship these actual words in our product. So there are places in the executive where a debugger might show you
gvdl and you can reason it out. [ 1 ] qvdl is "fuck"
This worked fine until our fellow workers in France got a hold of it. The equivalent words in French are, of course, different and could (did) show up. Also the equivalent words in just about every European language.
What did these kind people do? They FILED A QAR. What did it say? In very nice words, it said we had overlooked a lot of nasties and would we please DO SOMETHING. To further assist us, they included translations from the American list into French, German, Swedish, Yugoslav, English, Danish, Dutch, Italian, Spanish, and Polish.
(Reading through the English list made me wonder how Monty Python gets on the air at all. According to this list, 'crap' is English for the s-word [ 2 ] "shit" in American, and it gets touchier still ...)
The list makes for good reading but would certainly get me fired if I let it propagate through the network. As I PAGED through it, I noticed FOOTNOTES. I ran to the end of the list to see the footnotes.
Foot #1 was that there was no direct translation---this occurred for the b-word (rhyme "which" [ 3 ] "bitch" ) and the n-word (rhyme "Heidigger" [ 4 ] "nigger" ). These were replaced with cultural approximations.
The one that really set me rocking, and which spurred this lengthy joke/note, was the t-word (rhyme "bits" [ 5 ] "tits" ) in Swedish. There was a blank space in the table with a footnote 2.
Foot #2 said only:
"The female breast is not vulgar in any form in Swedish."
Swedes. Ya gotta love 'em. :-)
--wt [ 6 ] I don't know what "wt" means, but this format indicates a signature to me.
Subject: The actual QAR refered to in a previous message...
Subject: VMS QAR #01584
Deficiency in VMS Password Generator ∞
It come has to our attention that the VMS source code contains a list of rude words (module
PASSWORDS.LIS, line 282, routine
generate_passwords). The purpose of this list is to prevent the password generator from suggesting an obscene password. Furthermore, an attempt has been made to translate this list into several foreign languages. Being in an international environment here in Valbonne we really appreciate this; however, the translation is not complete and does not include all of the European languages.
Please find below a selection of words from the VMS rude word list with full translation into ten other languages. We hope you will be able to use this information in a future version of VMS.
AMERICAN ENGLISH SWEDISH POLISH DANISH DUTCH -------- ------- ------- ------ ------- ------- shit crap skit govno skid poep fuck fuck knull pierdolic knalde neuk hell hell helvete pieklo helevede godverdomme cunt cunt fitta pizda skede kut bitch bitch hora9 kurva skiderrik teef tits boobs 2 cycek bryster9 tiet nigger coon neger zydek9 nigger neger AMERICAN GERMAN FRENCH YUGOSLV ITALIAN SPANISH -------- ------- ------- ------- ------- ------- shit sheisse merde govno stronzo mierda fuck fick foutre jebati scopare joder hell teufel bordel pakao diavolo infierno cunt futz con picka fica coqo bitch hundin pute kucka mignota puta tits brueste9 nichons sise tetas tetas nigger neger negre crnja scifoso9 negro
9 Literal translation not possible---cultural equivalent attempted.
2 In Sweden, the female breast is not offensive in any form.
*Answer for QAR #01584:*
Thank you for your suggestion. A copy of this suggestion has been mailed to the developer responsible for this facility.
[ + ]
|1.||^||qvdl is "fuck"|
|6.||^||I don't know what "wt" means, but this format indicates a signature to me.|