Tidbits ∞

The most overlooked advantage to owning a computer is that if they foul up there's no law against wacking them around a little.
People who buy Macs are the same people who said BETA is better than VHS 15 years ago.
Computers make it easy to do alot of things, but most of the things that make it easier to do don't need to be done.
Imagine if every Thursday your shoes exploded if you tied them the usual way. This happens to us all the time with computers, and nobody thinks of complaining.
If automobiles had followed the same development cycle as the computer, a Rolls-Royce would today cost $100, get a million miles per gallon, and explode once a year, killing everyone inside.

Lightbulbs ∞

How many PC repair people does it take to change a light bulb?
- PC Repair has received your mail concerning your hardware problem and has assigned your request Service Order Number 39712. Please use this number for any future reference to this case of trouble. As soon as a technician becomes available, you will be contacted.
How many technical support people does it take to change a light bulb?
- We have an exact copy of the light bulb here and it seems to be working fine. Can you tell me what kind of system you have? Ok. Just exactly how dark is it? Ok. There could be four or five things wrong. Have you tried the light switch?
How many software engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
- That's a hardware problem.
How many hardware engineers does it take to change a light bulb?
- Tell software to code around it.
How many x.bboarder's does it take to tell a light bulb joke?
- 1622. One to tell the original joke and the rest to give some minor variation of it.
How many IBM types does it take to change a light bulb?
- 100. Ten to do it and 90 to write document number GC7500439-0001, Multitasking Incandescent Source System Facility (MISSF), of which 10% of the pages state only "This page intentionally left blank", and 20% of the definitions are of the form "A ... consists of sequences of non-blank characters separated by blanks".