Entertainment > Movies >
Star Wars >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3748528/
https://www.starwars.com/films/rogue-one [ 1 ]

Something something father something reactor something plans to the death star something hope.

A pretty terrible episode. I’m not going to bother watching another of these..

• AKA Rogue One: A Star Wars Story, because fuck sensible naming.

1. Star Wars – The Force Awakens – (2015 movie)

2. Rogue One – (2015 movie)

• Everything Wrong With Rogue One: A Star Wars Story

  • by CinemaSins

• Rogue One: A Star Wars Story Pitch Meeting

  • by Screen Rant

• Everything Wrong With CinemaSins: Rogue One in 15 Minutes or Less

  • by Th3Birdman

–

• 2022-06-21

2022-06-21 ∞

• 0:15 — Oh god, that poster. I wonder if I’ll get an inclusive cast.
• 1:00 — So we found Luke, which is what this will open with, right?

• 1:30 — That guy sounds like Liam Neeson.

  • I have a particular skill. The force. And I will use that skill. To hunt you down. And turn you to the dark side.

• 2:30 — So the girl with the British accent has a father with a Scottish accent and a mother with an American accent.

  • Oh good, she has an British accent too.
• 3:30 — For something they planned for, they seem to not have planned for this.
• 4:30 — I would have laced the house with explosives and made sure there was no evidence of a family.
• 4:45 — Saving on the budget of voice acting.
• 7:00 — So, Disney, still making movies with broken families huh?
• 7:45 — Uh, what just happened? Was she waiting long?
• 8:45 — Ring of Kafrene – trading outpost
• 11:00 — Well the other guy did shoot first.
• 11:00 — Jedha – imperial-occupied moon
• 12:30 — Wobani – imperial labor camp
• 13:45 — Yavin 4 – rebel alliance headquarters
• 16:45 — Didn’t we see a weapon that can destroy entire planets? Or.. I don’t understand what movie goes after what movie.
• 22:15 — They should have shown a dawn rising over a planet or something. The sweep of light is distracting.
• 22:45 — Oh my fucking god, has Disney not learned from Tron – Legacy (2010)[doesn’t exist]‘s terrible uncanny valley?
• 23:00 — So this is just before .. uh, one of those other movies. And well before the previous movie.
• 26:00 — So.. those things can now enter the atmosphere?
• 28:30 — Those two dudes are from .. one of the other movies.
• 33:00 — Are they playing up the myth of the storm trooper bad aim?
• 35:00 — Inclusive-Asian has kung-fu powers.
• 45:00 — They’re pressing buttons but they are neither depressing nor does their light change.
• 49:15 — So did they retcon those other two guys? They’re now dead or I guess they left..
• 53:15 — An event like that is a planet killer. See Global catastrophic risk.
• 56:15 — Eadu – imperial kyber refinery
• 1:17:45 — Why can’t the Jedi just walk up, levitate everything, talk loudly, and speak to her truth?
• 1:21:45 — So now she’s an instant-commander?
• 1:22:45 — So they were shot down? Chased then shot down?
• 1:23:30 — Scarif – imperial security complex
• 1:24:15 — Aren’t they supposed to identify themselves as soon as they’re anywhere in the vicinity? Like far far away?
• 1:25:15 — A planetary.. shield. So like Endor, right?
• 1:26:45 — Well that’s a great speech. I guess she ran out of motivation last speech.
• 1:28:30 — Their pilot isn’t in any kind of uniform..
• 1:36:00 — None of that made sense.. why bother going there to eventually help them? They wouldn’t even have surprised.
• 1:42:45 — “The tape”.. tape. the tape..
• 1:44:15 — It took them that long to respond?
• 1:45:30 — Oh noe! The pilot we really fell in love with has died!
• 1:48:00 — Were I him, I would destroy the dish.
• 1:50:30 — Why would he jump to help?
• 1:51:30 — Some sort of “don’t shoot the data!” command would have helped.
• 1:52:45 — .. and then the big guy gets shot, because nothing has changed. The bad guys are still in position and shooting expertly.
• 1:56:00 — Why would there be randomly opening-and-closing hatches?
• 1:57:00 — Why would there be a station at the top for transmission like that?
• 1:58:45 — .. you killed my father, prepare to die.
• 1:59:15 — Good thing there was a man to save her?
• 2:03:00 — Disposable storyline.

• 2:05:30 — That might not have been uncanny if they got the fucking lipsyncing right.

Footnotes

1. was https://www.starwars.com/rogue-one/ [ ↩ ]