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https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3778644/

A prequel adventure with the eponymous Han Solo. It has no excitement since with a prequil there can’t be any sense of accomplishment without any chance of failure.

A franchise so strong I didn’t even know this movie was released or was even being made.

Not recommended, even for fans. It gives and does nothing. It’s vaguely entertaining.

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–

• 2018-06-10

2018-06-10 ∞

• 1:30 — Wow.. while that’s an intro that gets right to the point it’s fucking bad.
• 3:15 — She’s just using him to improve her circumstances. Or it’s love. Who knows!
• 6:15 — An unlikely escape.
• 15:45 — Oh man, that’s not an appropriate actor for anywhere in the Star Wars universe.
• 20:00 — What excitement can there be for a prequel? We already know he makes it out of there. There can’t be any sense of accomplishment without any chance of failure.
• 22:00 — Such bullshit. How does he know even bits of the language? If he did, he would have known exactly what the thing is.
• 37:45 — That made no sense. Wouldn’t she let them run over and they can shoot them down to free her? Then the ship can get to her later maybe.
• 43:00 — I hate the constant invention of aliens just for the novelty of it..
• 45:30 — Yes, they would have killed him, but she would have been kept alive because vagina.
• 1:01:15 — This is a reference to men having difficulty urinating in front of an audience.
• 1:03:30 — Standard Disney movie with broken families.
• 1:04:45 — Why would he be remotely impressed with hyperspace.
• 1:07:00 — She’s sucked a lot of cock with that mouth he’s kissing.
• 1:08:30 — Oh god, a slavery reference.. or is that a woman reference?
• 1:24:15 — I don’t understand. She can be repaired.
• 1:25:15 — How can the Empire be there that quickly? That’s ridiculous.
• 1:27:00 — So now that thing has guns?
• 1:39:34 — Wouldn’t the tracker have been scraped off during the little landing gear trick?
• 1:42:45 — Sigh. This all feels pretty bad.
• 1:45:00 — How would he get off the planet?
• 1:55:15 — First, Han has superpowers to survive that fight. Second, how come her magic sword is magic?
• 2:00:00 — That’s an homage to Han shooting first.
• 2:02:00 — Oh, maybe the short guy just recently shown really is the guy from Willow – (1988 movie). I wondered at the first glance of him.

• 2:02:15 — Yep, it’s him.