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Entertainment > Movies >
(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3778644/
A prequil adventure with the eponymous Han Solo. It has no excitement since with a prequil there can't be any sense of accomplishment without any chance of failure.
A franchise so strong I didn't even know this movie was released or was even being made.
Not recommended, even for fans. It gives and does nothing. It's vaguely entertaining.
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Entertainment > Movies >
(on Wikipedia)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt2527336/
http://www.starwars.com/the-last-jedi/
Supergirl is super, and something about the last of the fleet that isn't the last, and Leia is immortal and shit characters and shit writing.
The earlier movies are mandatory for this. If you thought the earlier movies were shit, then this is the nail in the coffin. Just let the franchise die.
Properly titled Star Wars: The Last Jedi
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Entertainment > Movies >
(on Wikipedia)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0082198/
http://www.universalstudiosentertainment.com/conan-the-barbarian/
With the power of Nietzsche, a barbarian-turned-warrior seeks revenge on those who killed his people.
I love it, but I'm biased because of this movie's significant influence on my early self.
Being "from back in the day", this movie is unashamedly-specific about its audience.
More recent sword-and-sorcery movies are watered-down to broaden their audience. Think The Lord of the Rings, which is a phenomenal movie in its own right, but its stark contrast has pushed movies like this one into a "classic" sub-genre. To fans of the recent movies, this one will seem crude.
For fans of the classic style, I'm confident in strongly recommending this. I think it stands out as good, and won't need to be considered "good, but only because of its historical significance".
See also Conan the Adventurer - (1999 television show), only.. don't.
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Entertainment > Movies >
(on Wikipedia)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0096446/
http://lucasfilm.com/willow
An evil sorcerer queen hunts a baby who's prophesied to kill her, but the baby is being spirited away by a pair of unlikely heroes: A scoundrel and a gnome.
Fun as hell. Mandatory viewing.
TODO - To watch with commentary and all the bonus material.
 Charging a greenhouse. |
Entertainment > Movies >
(on Wikipedia)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084749/
It should be summarized as: A noble kingdom is taken by force, forcing a prince to flee and live a life that turns to adventure, to later return to contest for the throne.
However. However it's all over the place. It doesn't properly delve into any aspect, and doesn't properly string things together. It has all the elements of a good, or at least fair, movie, but it wasn't written well.
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Entertainment > Movies >
(on Wikipedia)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt1253864/
http://www.immortalsmovie.com/
A warlord seeks to unleash the enemies of the gods to kill them.
While watchable, I would only recommend it to fans of the sword and sandal genre who can also stand the "quality" that Hollywood offers.
Entertainment > Movies >
An assassination attempt on a senator gets her two superpowered-bodyguards, one of whom has the hots for her and whose investigation leads to a mystery that has remained shrouded for ten years.
While nowhere near as good as I.I, this is an adequate watch and certainly head and shoulders above Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones.
Definitely do not watch this until you have episode III lined up. At present, I do not know if there is a phantom edit of that. So.. I don't know if I can recommend this. Right now it's flagged as disliked, but I don't feel that I wasted my time watching it. I just feel let down by the ending.
TODO - this has a commentary track!
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Entertainment > Movies >
The Trade Federation blockades a peaceful planet, and decisive action is required to bring political and military strength to bear.
An astonishing improvement on the original. Even though it's lower visual quality than it's original can be, it's worth a watch. Very highly recommended especially to fans of the original trilogy who were disappointed by this new trilogy.
There was a Star Wars Episode I.I - The Phantom Edit (notice the I.I) which was a VHS-only release with a longer running length.
TODO - this has a commentary track!
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Entertainment > Movies >
(on Wikipedia)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt0859163/
http://www.themummy.com/
Seeking ancient Egyptian treasure Chinese artifacts, archaeologists unleash a curse that threatens the world. Only this time it's about an ancient warlord's cursed terracotta army.
Decently follows in the footsteps of the previous two movies, though replacing Rachel Weisz with Maria Bello is a terrible distraction. Anyone who likes the other two movies ought to like this one reasonably well. I think this is worth watching once or twice, but certainly hasn't enough soul for collection like the first movie.
Continues from The Mummy Returns - (2001 movie)
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Entertainment > Movies >
(on Wikipedia)
http://www.imdb.com/title/tt3086386/
http://www.the-scorpion-king.com/
A man.. uh.. something about some mercenary missions and people dying and a magic thing and such.
I only saw this out of reverence to The Scorpion King - (2002 movie). Oh gods, the badness-potential of this genre is astonishing. Ignore this, and go watch Hercules - The Legendary Journeys - (1995-1999 show) instead. It is the gold standard of badness.
I think what really offends me about The Scorpion King (2,3,4) is that they cost money to watch, where a TV show would have been (more or less) free.
This is the prequil closest to the movie The Scorpion King - (2002 movie), which is a preq-- oh fuck, trying to explain all of that is ridiculous.
