Comedy >

(Unix)

From: paular at kubiki.Eng.Sun.COM (Paul Arthur)
Newsgroups: rec.humor
Subject: Re: Wanted: list of grades of Unix Knowledge

Beginner ∞

• insecure with the concept of a terminal
• has yet to learn the basics of vi
• hasn’t figured out yet how to get a directory

• still has trouble with typing <RETURN> at the end of each line

Novice ∞

• knows that ls will produce a directory
• uses the editor, but calls it ‘vye’
• has heard of C but never used it
• has had his first bad experience with rm
• is wondering how to read his mail

• is wondering why the person next to him seem to like Unix so much

User ∞

• uses vi and nroff, but inexpertly
• has heard of ‘regular-expression’ but never seen one
• uses egrep to search for fixed strings
• has figured out that - precedes options
• is wondering how to move a directory
• has attempted to write a C program and decided to stick with pascal
• thinks that dbx is a brand of stereo component

• knows how to read his mail and wonders how to read news

Knowledgeable User ∞

• uses nroff without trouble, and is beginning to learn tbl and eqn
• thinks that ‘fgrep’ is ‘fast grep‘
• has figured out that ‘mv’ will move directories
• has learned that ‘learn’ ^[ 1 ] I don’t know what this is. doesn’t help
• someone has shown him how to write C programs
• once used ‘sed‘ to do some text substitution
• has seen dbx used but doesn’t use it himself

• thinks that make is for wimps

Expert ∞

• uses sed when necessary
• uses macros in vi, uses ex when necessary
• posts news at every possible opportunity
• writes csh scripts occasionally
• writes C programs with vi and compiles them with cc
• has figured out what && and || are for

• thinks that human history started with !h

Hacker ∞

• uses sed and AWK with comfort
• uses undocumented features of vi
• writes C code with cat > and compiles with !cc
• use adb because he doesn’t trust source debuggers
• can answer questions about the user environment
• writes his own nroff macros to supplement standard ones

• writes scripts for Bourne shell

Guru ∞

• uses m4 and lex with comfort
• writes assembly code with cat >
• uses adb on the kernel while the system is loaded
• customizes utilities by patching the source
• reads device driver source with his breakfast
• can answer any Unix question after a little thought
• uses make for anything requiring two or more distinct commands to achieve

• has learned how to breach computer security, but no longer needs to try

Wizard ∞

• writes device drivers with cat >
• fixes bugs by patching the binaries
• can answer any question before you ask
• writes his own troff macro packages
• is on a first-name basis with Dennis, Bill and Ken