 |
Entertainment > Movies >
(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3896198/
https://movies.disney.com/guardians-of-the-galaxy-vol-2
Lost in space, a member of a misfit band of space-mercenaries is found by his father.
Another boring semi-superhero movie. I expect this will be mildly entertaining for people who really liked the earlier one.
In an odd way, see also:
-
Everything Wrong With Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2
- by CinemaSins
-
Everything Wrong With CinemaSins: Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 in 7 Minutes or Less
- by Th3Birdman
-
Guardians of the Galaxy Vol. 2 Pitch Meeting – Revisited
- by Screen Rant
–
2017-05-29 ∞
- 0:30 — Missouri United States Earth 1980
- 1:00 — I was waiting for him to crash the car.
- 1:15 — This scene is brought to you by Dairy Queen.
- 1:45 — Wait. Is that? What the. He must remind me of someone else.
-
2:30 — 34 years later.
- 2014..
- 2:30 — The Soverign
- 4:30 — This is fucking stupid already.
- 5:45 — No, that was Kurt Russel
- 9:45 — Why is she going off on this rant?
- 12:45 — Objectification of men.
- 15:30 — Didn’t we establish they value their lives? Why would they go after a ship which has weapons? Maybe they hope a swarm sneak attack would be overwhelmingly effective.
- 16:00 — Oh, good.
- 16:45 — They’re all engineered for that. They shoot the ship down. Roll credits.
- 18:30 — Isn’t what’s-her-face free now?
- 19:30 — I still wonder if their admiral was the lead from Farscape – (1999 show).
- 21:45 — How is their landing zone damaged from the front of the ship, when it had already been slowing down.
- 21:45 — Berhert – M20 22A4834126+306CA12
- 22:00 — What. Birds fly away after it breaks apart.
- 22:15 — What is that, casual misandry?
- 23:00 — Yes. Man from the past using memes from the present in a time set in our past.
- 24:15 — Proof he’s his dad.
- 24:30 — Contraxia – M15 5127512731+X1955KX
-
28:45 — He’s been trying to track him down. Even after he had become a bounty hunter. A man for hire. Then a famous bounty hunter. Then a famous planet-saver. Then a famous mercenary bounty-hunter. That right there is a shit dad.
- 29:30 — So it’s a distance thing. Okay then.
- 31:30 — David Hasselhoff
- 34:45 — No. No you can’t feel my feelings. Never touch me. Never touch my crew. Touch any of my crew and I will kill you on the spot.
- 36:30 — Okay then, she can manipulate people. Again, touchy touch and die.
- 37:00 — Now that’s some serious service. Not even one day and she’s able to notify others and they’re able to find their crashed ship in the middle of nowhere. I guess a one-jump crash is expected, since they were damaged and they saw the closest jump point, and I guess finding their crash site is easy with super advanced technology, but..
-
38:15 — Ewoks?
- 39:00 — Oh, just some odd expectation of ambushes.
- 42:15 — So the blue guy wasn’t killed, I guess.
- 42:30 — Ego’s Planet – G52 22C848T12F+E16UC22
- 53:30 — Brain tumor
- 54:30 — Why wouldn’t he stay on Earth? I didn’t hear a decent reason. He said he loved dude’s mother.
- 56:00 — If that planet were so important, why wouldn’t he just bring dude’s mother there?
- 59:00 — Why does the blue guy need to be kept alive?
- 1:12:15 — I forgot Starlord’s back story. Why was he lost in space again?
- 1:14:00 — Cheers – (1982-1993 TV show)
- 1:16:30 — Disney’s not allowed to kill women.
-
1:20:45 —
- Pac-Man (character)
- Skeletor
- Heather(?) Locklear(?)
- 1:24:30 — I can’t remember who that big-headed guy is, but he’s really really important.
- 1:34:30 — Where the fuck did those laser orbs come from?
-
1:44:00 — Mary Poppins (character)
- 1:53:30 — I guess his Mary Poppins trick won’t fly him back up.
-
2:02:45 — Zune
- I don’t get where it came from. It was a bunch of mumbling.
Yikes. The asshole who wrote this clearly wasn’t paying any attention. And do you really not know who Heather Locklear is?
It’s cute though, that you think you’re CinemaSins