A dragon, having, for unknown reasons, landed as a meteorite but on top of a clutch of eggs and somehow not damaging them, heals a not-knight who risked his life for the eggs but actually to steal them is cursed to become the slave of a druid who is for some reason called a sorcerer.
This is basically a high-quality TV-movie but released for the big screen. It's not dependent on the other movies in this series, which is probably for the best. It's not great, not particularly good and only worth a one-time watch for people who are fans of this sort of genre.
- This is a prequil to the series, set about 100 years before the first movie.
Properly titled Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer's Curse
- DragonHeart - (1996 movie)
- Dragonheart - A New Beginning - (2000 movie) (sequel)
Dragonheart 3 - The Sorcerer's Curse - (2015 movie) (prequel)
Oh man, someone made a blog just about this movie - http://dh-the-sorerers-curse.tumblr.com/.. fucking tumblr.
Well let's see what a 2015 prequil to a 1996 movie looks like.
- 1:00 -- Roman Empire, Hadrian, Hadrian's Wall, Druid
- 3:15 -- Celts
- 4:45 -- (is stabbed by the painted clan, mid-speech)
- 6:30 -- Why wouldn't they begin with a sword?
- 7:30 -- Why would the guy quit? He can just back away and not be stabbed. If chased, he has plenty of time to run away before the now-armed guy can get to him.
- 7:45 -- Why call it "quit" when it's "yield"?
- 8:00 -- Wait, are they going around bullying people now? Or are they tax collectors? Isn't that beneath a knight? Perhaps not beneath a soldier, but I wouldn't trust them.. so maybe that's why a knight would be sent.
- 8:45 -- Without a census and recording, random looting isn't efficient. People can just "be out of town".
- 12:20 -- Knighthood really isn't worth it if either being a dick or serving a dick is the cost. Being a peasant must really suck in comparison.
- 17:20 -- Dude, thank the woman for giving you the pendant. You dick. You knight-to-be.
- 19:10 -- How would he get back in? I guess they'd be fine letting him back if he brought wealth, although it would have to be more than 100g worth of loot since it's not like coins dropped from the sky.
- 22:00 -- Randomly burning ground. Oh, it's the meteor landing site.
- 26:00 -- Uh, the dragon didn't have to lift a breastplate or anything?
- 27:00 -- Turn into a hot woman. Tur-- dammit.
- 30:40 -- "Wall-crawler" .. Spider-Man
- 34:00 -- "Him"? I'm pretty sure things that lay eggs are female. This movie doesn't take place in Tumblr-land does it?
- 35:35 -- Uh. Oh, guardian. Good. I was confused there.
- 36:20 -- Inventing stupid reasons for stupid names. Fuck right off.
- 38:20 -- Well that's neat.
- 39:50 -- Is there a range on its fireballs? Are the eggs vulnerable to his fire? I'd just nuke everything.
- 46:50 -- Are those eggs hatching or something?
- 51:00 -- No. Just no. It was fuckwit halftard the magnificent who was playing with one and juggled it off the back of the cart.
- 51:20 -- Hand him the eggs? They're already in a basket.
- 57:00 -- "The Sorcerer's Curse"
- 1:05:30 -- Breathe fire. Breathe. Brea-- sigh.
- 1:05:45 -- Seriously, sacrificing children?
- 1:06:00 -- How does she have a working bow again?
- 1:06:30 -- Entirely unimpressive..
- 1:07:00 -- Well it looks like it did a shitload of damage..
- 1:07:10 -- Oh my god, that's got to be one of the most horrible insults I've heard.
- 1:07:30 -- Why wait. Shoot him shoot him..
- 1:09:00 -- The Druid's circle, where another druid definitely won't think to look for them. Nope, definitely won't.
- 1:18:50 -- Ok, so look. The biggest baddestest baddy bad bad used that spell as part of a ruse against the most elder Druid. Little shit for brains might now know of it if he witnessed the fight, but there's no fucking way he could cast it. Certainly not cast it so quickly and while in bondage.
- 1:19:00 -- How did not-knight get them free?
- 1:20:40 -- That code.. the code which he knew nothing about and still knows nothing about? He's going to follow that? Next he'll be using shadows to jump around in. There are never any of those at night with lots of fires around. Nope.
- 1:22:00 -- It's rare to see a three-way, but how do the Celts tell one another apart? Especially in the dark.
- 1:26:20 -- See the thing about holding a sword by the sharp-end is you don't get to pick up another sword and get back to fighting. It's just a thing.
- 1:26:40 -- Whoa there buddy, an execution of a disarmed opponent is not cool.
- 1:28:00 -- I don't understand how she got hurt. Or is that some sort of mother-avenged, tired-now thing?
1:30:10 -- Really leveraging those eggs man.