spiralofhope

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(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1104123/
https://web.archive.org/web/20180726004317/http://www.the-scorpion-king.com:80/

A kid swears revenge for his father’s unjust death, and has adventures and stuff along the way.

Fairly good for a TV-movie of this genre. I didn’t happen to particularly enjoy it myself, but it’ll appeal to people who can handle both this quality and genre together.

• Properly titled The Scorpion King 2: Rise of a Warrior
• This is supposed to be a further-prequel to The Scorpion King – (2002 movie) but it really isn’t. It has one character with the name.

• (Unfortunately) continues with The Scorpion King 3 – Battle for Redemption – (2012 movie)

• Tigris, Euphrates rivers
• 3:30 — Why do I recognize this movie? I could have sword I had never seen it or even knew of a Scorpion King 2.

• 5:30 — Hammurabi, Sargon

  • This Sargon is not any of Sargon of Akkad, Sargon I, or Sargon II, who all died in periods of time well outside the lifespan of Hammurabi.

• 6:15 — Uh, unexplained dark angry-eyes.

  • I suppose it’s related to the evil smoke-scorpions.
• 9:30 — Boys have to return to men at least every year. Why would they only have training every six years? They wouldn’t.
• 12:00 — No, she couldn’t take him. Not after his six years of committed training. Not a damned chance.
• 17:00 — Nope. Roll credits.
• 18:00 — (Harem) Wear myself out? Don’t worry, I won’t.

• 21:00 — “Turnabout is fair play” is a very old phrase and concept.

  • In the early 1800s, this was a legal/governmental concept in the United States, seen in their term limits. See Term limits in the United States.
• 25:30 — Mackerel, Tuna
• 26:15 — Yes, yes she is just a girl. He is a trained warrior.
• 27:30 — Cretinism
• 28:30 — She can get “it” out of me.
• 28:45 — He’s 19, so presumably he was 13 when he was sent for training.

• 29:15 — Aristophanes of Naxos and not the one from Corinth.

  • This may be Aristophanes, and is not Eratosthenes.
• 29:45 — Court poet to the king of Elam (pre-Iranian peoples and in the general region)

• 30:00 —

  • “There’s the Hammer of Zeus. No, too unwieldy.”
    – I think most people would think of Mjölnir, the Hammer of Thor, but that’s not it.
  • “The Shield of Chronos. That’s completely discredited.”
  • “The Cloak of…”
  • “I’ve got it! The Sword of Damocles!”
• 30:30 — Akkadian Empire
• 32:00 — A little equality jab.

• 36:15 — Minotaur

  • 36:30 — No, not daily. Not even him. Every nine years, King Minos made King Aegeus pick seven young boys and seven young girls to be eaten. See Sacrificial victims of Minotaur.
• 36:45 — King Minos, of Crete, son of Zeus and Europa.
• 37:45 — Oh, I’ll take two of those.
• 38:00 — Wait, what? I thought that was a prison. I guess they’re locking themselves in, as protection from the Minotaur.
• 43:00 — Except for the full-body shots, that’s a pretty good monster.
• 45:30 — Hittites
• 46:30 — No one returned alive from the Underworld. But.. but.. they returned dead?
• 48:30 — That’s Cuneiform script
• 50:45 — Faith is your gu—waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa splat.
• 52:45 — I guess he was tracking him all along.
• 55:30 — “Blood should repay blood” (eye for an eye, the law of retaliation)
• 60:00 — Mahjong
• 1:01:30 — He was saying the game gets harder, not easier.

• 1:04:00 — I could worship her. Daily. Her body is a temple, after all.

  • I want to know who that actor is, so I can see more of her. There is a Diane Wilson credited as “Woman in Swamp”.
• Why would the god of war and love be stuck in the underworld?
• 1:07:30 — Now there are subtitles?
• 1:10:30 — I was right there with her until she said “service my varied and copious needs”.. because I’m sure she’s kinky. And not good kinky.
• 1:16:00 — The ultimate sacrifice is.. a comb over!
• 1:17:15 — I know you were stalling.. you’re like a sister to me.
• 1:25:00 — I don’t understand why there’s such a show of it, and how the oil got from down there to up and pressurized out.
• 1:31:30 — I don’t understand why any of that ruse was useful.
• 1:33:00 — So.. this acrobat is an expert fighter because.. Chinese.
• 1:37:00 — This invisible-scorpion thing was great, except it was overdone and it appears that it’s stupid and slow. It would be far more interesting if his poisoning were making him hallucinate all that while the Big Bad fled.
• 1:38:45 — “Heh, (sigh), what?” is my response to this movie.
• 1:40:45 — Oh god, I’d spur all over her.
• 1:43:00 — No, Samsu-iluna was the son of Hammurabi.

• 1:43:30 —

  • “Olympia”. No, he means Mount Olympus and not Olympia, Greece.
  • “Neptune’s Trident”. No, he means Trident of Poseidon.
• 1:44:00 — Should have been him? Why? How?
• “Not my cup of tea.” .. really? Using that expression seems dumb.

• 1:45:00 — Yeah, that’s the subject for the previous tale. Sigh.