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(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1781896/
A bounty hunter hunts a bounty but there’s a princess therefore save the princess instead.
Oh god, this is like an episode of Hercules – The Legendary Journeys – (1995-1999 show). Old school TV-quality, reasonably fun for low expectations.
This is riding on the coat tails of the earlier actual-movie, desperately hoping that fans will consider all of this a “series”. Sigh, it is not.
- Properly titled The Scorpion King 3: Battle for Redemption
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This is a sequel to The Scorpion King 2 – Rise of a Warrior – (2008 movie), and technically still a prequil to The Scorpion King – (2002 movie) which is itself a prequil to The Mummy Returns – (2001 movie)..
- YOU ONLY GET ONE PREQUIL. This is insanity!
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Continues with The Scorpion King 4 – Quest for Power – (2015 movie)
- Oh gods, another TV-movie. Well, direct-to-DVD.. same thing.
- 1:30 — He has great braids.
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5:00 — King Horus
- Perhaps that’s a reference to the Ancient Egyptian god Horus
- I’m assuming this is a fictional name.
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.. his brother “Talus” – that spelling is from the subtitles I found.
- Osiris and Set were said to be Horus’ brothers.
- I doubt his name is a reference to Talos (Forgotten Realms).
- I’m assuming this is a fictional name.
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5:30 — King Ramusan
- A fictional name.
- Lowering expectations.
- 5:45 — Book of the Dead
- 6:00 — I recognize Ron Perlman from Hellboy – (2004 movie).
- 7:00 — Cobra? Cobra Command? Hehe..
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9:45 — “I smell like warrior!” (slug)
- I like this character already. Gods I hope I can like this movie.
- 10:30 — How did he call him out to be an Acadian earlier?
- 12:00 — Rock music playing in the background. Oh yeah, this right fits in with the previous movie.
- 13:00 — Oh my fucking gods all the quips are pissing me off.
- 14:15 — Teutons, Germania
- 15:15 — Seventeen daughters? Fuck. Literally.
- 18:00 — Jungle warfare
- Okay, there’s been no pretty girl in this movie. I’m losing interest.
- 22:15 — Guerrilla warfare, though he’s talking about Gorillas and Chimpanzees
- 26:30 — After capturing the base, you could just hole up in it. I guess there was more fight to be had in there, and they didn’t want to get pinned on two fronts.
- 31:30 — Casual misandry.
- 48:15 — Casual misandry.
- 49:00 — Ninja, from the ancient school of Sound Effects.
- 50:00 — Why did they flee only to have these three kill them?
- 1:00:00 — Holy crap, nice costume.
- 1:00:45 — Odin, Codpiece
- 1:03:45 — “I don’t know who’s hair’s prettier.”
- 1:09:45 — Wait, why would Olaf be in it for the fight?
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1:10:00 — “Pretty girl, I must rescue her.”
- Yes, I question his judgement because a woman is involved.
- 1:10:45 — Those glowing eyes are impressive, I didn’t think they’d remain after his resurrection.
- 1:11:30 — No, the king didn’t die well, he failed!
- 1:12:00 — Oh, his eyes aren’t glowing..
- 1:13:15 — Yeah, they’re cowards. Doubley-cowardly since they just called you one for using magic.
- 1:13:45 — Fear him, for he has the power of epic music.
- 1:18:00 — Well he’s a dick.
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1:18:15 — Oh snap, now I think I recognize her.
- However, the only movie of hers that I’ve seen her in would be Street Fighter: The Legend of Chun-Li.
- But she feels like she’s from something else.
- 1:20:30 — The resurrected spirit woman would recognize them as being the enemy. I guess the Big Bad being a dick will work against him.
- 1:22:00 — So.. will she do the easy thing and slit his throat during sex?
- 1:23:00 — Why would they fawn over him.. I thought he was revolting.
- 1:25:30 — Wha. Well okay then.
- 1:27:00 — Where the fuck did all those guys come from?
- 1:28:45 — Mysteriously-moving barrel.
- 1:32:00 — Olaf should have a major defensive advantage since the other dude can’t attack the book, I assume.
- 1:31:15 — How’d she get her other sword back?
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1:36:00 — How is he alive? I thought he was killed a long time ago.
