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(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0338526/
was vanhelsing.net

An unaged man without a memory is sent by a secret multifaith order of monster hunters as the last hope of a lineage doomed to purgatory unless they slay the lord of all vampires.

Not a great or bad movie, but still good enough to be worth watching. It’s mostly interesting because of its main character, and the rest of it is piecemeal and without particular substance.

I think this movie was my initial introduction to Kate Beckinsale, and it turns out she’s a lot hotter in my memory than in this actual movie. Maybe she was better-presented in the next movies of hers that I saw after this.

• 2017-02-25

2017-02-25 ∞

• 0:30 — Social justice.
• 0:45 — Transylvania 1887
• 1:00 — Frankenstein’s monster
• 1:30 — Victor Frankenstein
• 4:15 — After wiping his face (which is suspiciously clean), there’s no blood on his hand.
• 5:30 — Absinthe
• 8:00 — One year later (1888) – Paris France
• 8:00 — Abraham Van Helsing
• 10:45 — Yay, he fired only six shots (each).
• 12:45 — Why can’t Van Helsing just let go?
• 13:45 — Vatican City, Rome
• 16:30 — “Twelve” has been dubbed over. I think it was originally “three”, but I can’t remember from the theater.
• 16:45 — This is stupid. How could one person curse their entire bloodline? Oh right, this is Christianity..

• 18:45 — Glycerine = Glycerol

  • This is a reference to Nitroglycerin
• 21:30 — I will take two of her.
• 23:15 — She is nowhere near as good looking as I remember. Her makeup is wrong and her eyebrows are bad.
• 39:45 — Yes.. yes.. we will repeatedly do it together.
• 40:30 — Hey look, free woman.
• 47:00 — What a pointless scene.
• 56:00 — Why would he take his glove off to claw at it?
• 1:06:15 — That rope drop doesn’t make any sense..
• 1:39:15 — Casual misandry.

• 1:51:15 — Dracula flees, waits, wins. Roll credits.

  • I do see that he tried multiple times throughout the fight though, but sticks around to chat when he has new opportunities.

Special features ∞

• The ‘you are in the movie’ triggers another feature. While playing the movie, click the dumbass icon and view a clip.