War brews in the galaxy, forcing a republic to twist its laws to go to war.
Oh god, what a disappointment.
Properly titled Star Wars: Episode III - Revenge of the Sith
This is from a different source so the timestamps may be off.
- 0:00 -- I'm not going to bother typing out the scrolling text. Summary: Reading.
- 1:15 -- How are there heroes on both sides? I thought there were bad guys.
- 4:15 -- Empathy for clones is one of the downsides.
- 6:00 -- In the name of.. what?
- 7:30 -- Oh good thing vulnerable shield controls are on the outside of the ship.
- 8:00 -- I can already tell what things Phantom would cut out of this probably-shit film.
- 9:15 -- Lots of unnecessary talking and "roger roger".
- 11:30 -- Combat droids .. vulnerable to just fire.
- 12:30 -- Their light sabers are the same color now.
- 14:45 -- He .. he was literally disarmed.. well, dishanded.
- 15:45 -- Wilhelm scream
- 17:45 -- Now R2D2 has a periscope for some reason.
- 19:00 -- Why the fuck do the robots talk back, or even talk at all?
- 27:00 -- Pregnant? Maybe a little force push, a little force pull, a little forced abor-- nevermind.
- 30:15 -- Oh god this writing is bad. Also she looks pregnant and not at all like she's trying to hide it. Maybe she dresses differently outside her private space.
- 32:00 -- Oh my, they really did use that stupid pendant. Maybe this is a nod to the editors commentary in Star Wars Episode I.II - The Phantom Edit - (2000 movie).
- 40:00 -- He's had no problem walking right along that line against Jedi orders before.
- 51:30 -- There should have been more emphasis on his being taught everything other-guy knows, as a callback to not learning the healing powers.
- 56:15 -- .. this was so bad I had to take a break.
58:00 -- They all have guns, they shoot him, he dies. What the fuck.
- 58:15 -- Oh the old "I'll do it myself" nonsense..
- 59:30 -- See it would have made sense if local warriors came to rescue him well before any actual allies get there.
- Why wouldn't the dude just shoot him?
- Why wouldn't Mr. Jedi dodge and slice the thing as it came by? Or jump over it and slice it as it went under?
- 1:06:30 -- So didn't dude get force-pushed a huge distance earlier? How is this a fight?
- 1:07:30 -- There was never any hint that this guy had a living heart for some reason.
- 1:14:45 -- Like he should talk about "the Jedi way"..
- 1:15:00 -- Dude could chop off Sith's hand.
- 1:19:30 -- Yeah, none of this makes any real sense, even in the context of the character.
- 1:21:15 -- Water is really hard from that height. Some sort of exaggerated force usage to soften his fall would have helped make that seem possible.
- 1:23:30 -- Well a couple of women die semi on-screen.
- 1:32:00 -- I got bored again and took a second break..
- 1:33:45 -- Yoda's not supposed to throw his light saber!
- 1:36:30 -- "So this is how liberty dies, with thunderous applause."
- 1:43:00 -- Now they can detect incoming ships?
- 1:43:45 -- How does she know where he went?
- 1:44:45 -- Dubbed.
- 1:49:00 -- Since when could Yoda get zapped? Isn't he able to parry or capture or whatever?
- 1:50:30 -- As usual, since I know the outcome of everything, this isn't particularly interesting. There is no real character building or threat.
- 1:56:15 -- So all of this bullshit was set in motion by a stray saber strike.
- 2:02:15 -- So I'll assume that he couldn't tell if Vader was alive or dead because of his grief..
- 2:09:30 -- Leia wouldn't be safe with a known enemy of the empire..
2:11:45 -- Oh the uncanny face of the future general character.
- a phrase was repeated again up earlier..
- 1:11:30 -- Those are some lame-ass Jedi. I'd begin that fight by bombing the building.
~1:14:20 -- "He's too dangerous to be left alive" is repeated twice. The good guys and the bad guys saying the same phrase seems to be a theme.