An assassination attempt on a senator gets her two superpowered-bodyguards, one of whom has the hots for her and whose investigation leads to a mystery that has remained shrouded for ten years.
While nowhere near as good as Star Wars Episode I.II - The Phantom Edit - (2000 movie) is compared to its source, Attack of the Phantom is an adequate watch and certainly head and shoulders above its source. Unfortunately this movie also requires Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - (2005 movie) be watched immediately afterwards, and since there was never a phantom edit made of that I don't know if I can recommend this.
It's flagged as disliked, but I don't feel that I wasted my time watching it. I just feel let down by the ending.
- Properly titled Star Wars II.I: Attack of the Phantom
- Continues from Star Wars Episode I.II - The Phantom Edit - (2000 movie)
- I do not know the release date of this movie.
This is an edit of Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones
The commentary track contains a Dolby Prologic mix with
the commentary recorded entirely by a low tech microphone
hanging off an ironing board for support. Seriously!
The entire film was re-edited and mixed in my apartment
with an Apple G4 400mhz computer, 256 meg of RAM and
Apple's Final Cut Pro 3 editing software. The DVD was
authored with Apple's DVD Studio Pro 2.
Like Star Wars Episode I.II - The Phantom Edit - (2000 movie), it's likely the author used:
That's a hilarious DVD introduction, but it's also a spoiler.
- 5:30 -- God she's pretty, but what's with that horrible hair?
- 6:00 -- Yoda looks like a terrible computer graphics abomination.
- 7:00 -- Wow they look awful with that green screened background.
- 7:15 -- Maybe correct his boyishness? I suppose there wasn't enough time in the elevator just then.
- 9:00 -- Nobody would use a name right up front like that. The second use of her name is appropriate though.
- 11:00 -- Speaking of him being a Jedi.. why isn't he dressed like one?
- 13:00 -- I'll guess the bad guys didn't know about the Jedi, otherwise they might have wired a bomb to his speeder.
- 14:30 -- Why are those called speeders?
- 15:15 -- How in the hell could they track it?
- 15:30 -- I suppose that since they can use the force or some such maybe that could have helped them during the chase..
- 19:45 -- Jar Jar isn't qualified to tie his own shoelaces, let alone sub in for a senator.
- 22:15 -- Boy does she stand out.
- 25:15 -- How did they find any vague location for the Camino system?
- 26:00 -- Oh man the green screen is so bad that the speaker's head is warping as they walk.
- 27:00 -- R2D2 is behind him and to his right in one angle, and then directly behind him in the next.
- 27:15 -- Oh my god, nice bounce. Also good lord what a body.
- 29:15 -- A normal person would have pulled their hood up before exiting the craft.
- 41:30 -- Good thing he had a throwy tracking thing.
- 57:45 -- Oh no, he dismissively killed the men.. that's okay, but it's bad when it's others.
- 1:02:30 -- Has his rotational direction reversed?
- 1:04:15 -- "What Jedi we have left" ? What does that mean? Where are the rest? Is there some shortage of Jedi?
- 1:05:30 -- Why is C3-PO a different color now?
- 1:06:30 -- She could turn around and walk back.
- 1:08:15 -- So suddenly R2D2 can fly.
- 1:10:45 -- That animal has a cap on its ass.
- 1:14:00 -- That's a long way to fall down.. and right into a saddle position; ouch!
- 1:15:00 -- Why is everything in this new Star Wars so close together?
- 1:15:30 -- That entire exchange seems stupid to me. Was he threatening with the light saber just for effect? To pause the execution? To take a hostage?
- 1:22:15 -- Wouldn't his head plop out?
- 1:24:00 -- The clones I understand. The armor was a stretch, but all the arms, equipment and vehicles too? That's a lot of things to get read and bring there.
- 1:32:15 -- Oh god her little bounce.
1:32:15 -- oh.. I accidentally clicked in a sensitive spot and got the same thing but without all the talking and light saber stuff.
- 1:33:00 -- Now he can stand.
- 1:35:00 -- Oh oh, he said it he said "the clone war".
- 1:36:00 -- Where'd they get all the star destroyers from?
- Firstly, what? Marriage?
- Secondly, what? Holding her one hand with his droid hand? No, nobody would do that.
And.. and it just ends. Why. Just why. Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - (2005 movie) really must be watched right now.
- Ends with Darth Vader breathing. As though that's special or something..
- Also hah:
- 0:30 -- Lucas loves editing.
- 3:00 -- Friday the 13th (franchise)
- 5:00 -- Hasbro was selling the Attack of the Clones action figures.
- 9:00 -- Yes yes, he's a complete fucking idiot who shouldn't be in that position of power.
- 13:00 -- Completes explaining the core of his edit: Empathy with the decision for Vader to break the rules to save the woman he loves.
- 21:45 -- Yes wow, those lines really did communicate things more relationship-wise.
- 22:15 -- Oh wow, "first assignment" can also be taken secually.
- 38:15 -- Grauman's Chinese Theatre
- 43:00 -- The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles
- 43:30 -- George Lucas does not take criticism, and is a control freak.
- 45:15 -- Oh, I wondered why there was damage to the ship.
- 55:45 -- Oh, the film had to be edited to be under 2 hours because of the reel size limitation of IMAX.
- 59:00 -- I did notice the multiple headstones, but decided it must be a family mini-plot or perhaps included some of the others from the failed rescue attempt(s).
- 59:30 -- American Beauty (1999 film)
- 1:01:15 -- That shot isn't lame, it's just hammering home the notion that Jar Jar will be making the decision.
- 1:03:00 -- The Vader breathing at the end of this edit was stupid.
- I just realized it's stupid that R2D2 could just go down that hallway that used to be crawling with baddies.
- Yes, the flight is stupid.
- 1:14:30 -- WWF
- 1:18:30 -- The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers - (2002 movie)
- 1:20:45 -- Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper
- 1:27:00 -- New Coke
1:28:30 -- Shawn is a writer.
- Shawn was mentioned earlier (not noted). Perhaps the same Shawn.
1:31:00 -- The alternate battle without the light sabers.
- Directly accessible with
- Directly accessible with
1:32:45 -- Thanks:
- Kathy, Weena(?) and Matt watched various versions and gave feedback.
- Darren and Larry for providing sound technology information, Pro Logic
- Paige, actor, fan and supporter
- Golden Holden "for seeing more in me than just some guy that re-edited a Star Wars film."
- Best of Seven (?)
- Shawn (presumably the writer he mentioned earlier)
- Apple computers for providing nothing free of cost. Still waiting for that titanium laptop.
- George Lucas.
1:36:45 -- Talking about bootlegging and piracy.
1:44:05 -- There is a very fast voice right at the end. Slowing it down doesn't make it understandable. It would have to be extracted and modified, and I can't be bothered to do that..
VTS_06_1.VOB-- Alternate "battle" between Yoda and the other dude.
3:00 -- That is an impressive ship.
- However, see also Flight of the Navigator - (1986 movie).
- 5:15 -- Hehe, that one guy on the right has a dildo for a head.
- 6:30 -- Her hair looks wrong. Frizzy-odd wrong.
13:15 -- I presume R2-D2 informed the others of the trouble.
- Though how the one dude got from the ground floor up here, in mere seconds, is beyond me.
- 14:30 -- So .. speeders can fly? I thought "speeder" was a generic term for the hovering-cars.
- 17:00 -- Hey look, free hand. I mean blaster, free blaster.
- 18:30 -- Travel as refugees? Is that because of the impending split?
- 20:30 -- Stare-rape. Eye-contact gives PTSD, I read it on the internets.
- 22:00 -- He's afraid? Fear leads to stuff and stuff leads to things and dark side etc.
27:00 -- Holy shit. Nice, uh, hair. Yeah, hair. That's it.
- Going to one's parents' house is not a particularly good way to hide out.
- 32:00 -- You will make passionate love with me [ 2 ]waves hand
- 46:00 -- Did he say that thirty went out and four came back?
- 50:30 -- I thought Jedi could sense one another.
- 52:30 -- With great power comes gr-- ugh
- 57:30 -- Oh, he's going to have all the power. I must fall in love with him.
- 58:00 -- Yep, it's okay to have killed all the men. But definitely not those women or children.
- 1:00:00 -- Yeah, but not enough to have visited in the last ten years.
- 1:00:30 -- C-3P0 should remember Kenobi.
- 1:01:00 -- I remember her shirt being madly-distracting back then, and I still find it.. incredibly alluring.
- 1:02:00 -- When was it established that the kid follows orders?
- 1:06:00 -- Why didn't Duku take all that to the Jedi council? Why can he still not do it?
- 1:11:00 -- R2-D2 now has magical powers of jetpackery, because fuck the established universe.
- 1:16:00 -- Gods damn I wouldn't want her on top.
- 1:22:30 -- His dad's head falls out of his helmet.
- 1:23:00 -- Hey look, free senator.
- 1:31:30 -- That light sabre battle looks terribad.
- 1:33:00 -- While cool and all, how could a ship with solar sails get to hyperdrive speeds?
1:35:30 -- Begun, the clone wars has. Aah ahh? get it? GET IT?!?!?!
TO BE CONTINUED
BECAUSE GIVE US ALL YOUR MONEY
- 1:36:30 -- Why would they marry?
- Why would they marry before she got him a nice new hand. She's an ex-princess/queen and senator-person, and can probably get him a fucking glove at least.
Why would they marry? Hasn't it been like.. a week since they met?