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An assassination attempt on a senator gets her two superpowered-bodyguards, one of whom has the hots for her and whose investigation leads to a mystery that has remained shrouded for ten years.

While nowhere near as good as Star Wars Episode I.II - The Phantom Edit - (2000 movie) is compared to its source, Attack of the Phantom is an adequate watch and certainly head and shoulders above its source. Unfortunately this movie also requires Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - (2005 movie) be watched immediately afterwards, and since there was never a phantom edit made of that I don't know if I can recommend this.

It's flagged as disliked, but I don't feel that I wasted my time watching it. I just feel let down by the ending.

• Properly titled Star Wars II.I: Attack of the Phantom
• Continues from Star Wars Episode I.II - The Phantom Edit - (2000 movie)
• I do not know the release date of this movie.

• This is an edit of Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones

Info ∞

This DVD contains a true 5.1 Dolby Digital ^[ 1 ] AC-3 algorithm mix providing a
total surround sound experience with stereo rears and a
dedicated low frequency channel.

The commentary track contains a Dolby Prologic mix with
the commentary recorded entirely by a low tech microphone
hanging off an ironing board for support. Seriously!

The entire film was re-edited and mixed in my apartment
with an Apple G4 400mhz computer, 256 meg of RAM and
Apple's Final Cut Pro 3 editing software. The DVD was
authored with Apple's DVD Studio Pro 2.

Like Star Wars Episode I.II - The Phantom Edit - (2000 movie), it's likely the author used:

• Illustrator for the typesetting

• After Effects for the scroll

2019-12-27 ∞

• That's a hilarious DVD introduction, but it's also a spoiler.

--

• 5:30 -- God she's pretty, but what's with that horrible hair?
• 6:00 -- Yoda looks like a terrible computer graphics abomination.
• 7:00 -- Wow they look awful with that green screened background.
• 7:15 -- Maybe correct his boyishness? I suppose there wasn't enough time in the elevator just then.
• 9:00 -- Nobody would use a name right up front like that. The second use of her name is appropriate though.
• 11:00 -- Speaking of him being a Jedi.. why isn't he dressed like one?
• 13:00 -- I'll guess the bad guys didn't know about the Jedi, otherwise they might have wired a bomb to his speeder.
• 14:30 -- Why are those called speeders?
• 15:15 -- How in the hell could they track it?
• 15:30 -- I suppose that since they can use the force or some such maybe that could have helped them during the chase..
• 19:45 -- Jar Jar isn't qualified to tie his own shoelaces, let alone sub in for a senator.
• 22:15 -- Boy does she stand out.
• 25:15 -- How did they find any vague location for the Camino system?
• 26:00 -- Oh man the green screen is so bad that the speaker's head is warping as they walk.
• 27:00 -- R2D2 is behind him and to his right in one angle, and then directly behind him in the next.
• 27:15 -- Oh my god, nice bounce. Also good lord what a body.
• 29:15 -- A normal person would have pulled their hood up before exiting the craft.
• 41:30 -- Good thing he had a throwy tracking thing.
• 57:45 -- Oh no, he dismissively killed the men.. that's okay, but it's bad when it's others.
• 1:02:30 -- Has his rotational direction reversed?
• 1:04:15 -- "What Jedi we have left" ? What does that mean? Where are the rest? Is there some shortage of Jedi?
• 1:05:30 -- Why is C3-PO a different color now?
• 1:06:30 -- She could turn around and walk back.
• 1:08:15 -- So suddenly R2D2 can fly.
• 1:10:45 -- That animal has a cap on its ass.
• 1:14:00 -- That's a long way to fall down.. and right into a saddle position; ouch!
• 1:15:00 -- Why is everything in this new Star Wars so close together?
• 1:15:30 -- That entire exchange seems stupid to me. Was he threatening with the light saber just for effect? To pause the execution? To take a hostage?
• 1:22:15 -- Wouldn't his head plop out?
• 1:24:00 -- The clones I understand. The armor was a stretch, but all the arms, equipment and vehicles too? That's a lot of things to get read and bring there.
• 1:32:15 -- Oh god her little bounce.

• 1:32:15 -- oh.. I accidentally clicked in a sensitive spot and got the same thing but without all the talking and light saber stuff.

  • VTS_06_1.VOB
• 1:33:00 -- Now he can stand.
• 1:35:00 -- Oh oh, he said it he said "the clone war".
• 1:36:00 -- Where'd they get all the star destroyers from?

• 1:36:00 --

  • Firstly, what? Marriage?
  • Secondly, what? Holding her one hand with his droid hand? No, nobody would do that.

And.. and it just ends. Why. Just why. Star Wars - Episode III - Revenge of the Sith - (2005 movie) really must be watched right now.

• 1:44:00 --

  • Ends with Darth Vader breathing. As though that's special or something..
  • Also hah:

Commentary ∞

• 0:30 -- Lucas loves editing.
• 3:00 -- Friday the 13th (franchise)
• 5:00 -- Hasbro was selling the Attack of the Clones action figures.
• 9:00 -- Yes yes, he's a complete fucking idiot who shouldn't be in that position of power.
• 13:00 -- Completes explaining the core of his edit: Empathy with the decision for Vader to break the rules to save the woman he loves.
• 21:45 -- Yes wow, those lines really did communicate things more relationship-wise.
• 22:15 -- Oh wow, "first assignment" can also be taken secually.

• 33:00 --

  • He became friends with Frank Zappa's son Dweezil.
  • Would send him artwork, which he used to make t-shirts.
  • Complemented and therefore encouraged his editing.
• 38:15 -- Grauman's Chinese Theatre
• 43:00 -- The Young Indiana Jones Chronicles
• 43:30 -- George Lucas does not take criticism, and is a control freak.
• 45:15 -- Oh, I wondered why there was damage to the ship.
• 55:45 -- Oh, the film had to be edited to be under 2 hours because of the reel size limitation of IMAX.
• 59:00 -- I did notice the multiple headstones, but decided it must be a family mini-plot or perhaps included some of the others from the failed rescue attempt(s).
• 59:30 -- American Beauty (1999 film)
• 1:01:15 -- That shot isn't lame, it's just hammering home the notion that Jar Jar will be making the decision.
• 1:03:00 -- The Vader breathing at the end of this edit was stupid.

• 1:08:15 --

  • I just realized it's stupid that R2D2 could just go down that hallway that used to be crawling with baddies.
  • Yes, the flight is stupid.
• 1:14:30 -- WWF
• 1:18:30 -- The Lord of the Rings - The Two Towers - (2002 movie)
• 1:20:45 -- Roger Ebert and Richard Roeper
• 1:27:00 -- New Coke

• 1:28:30 -- Shawn is a writer.

  • Shawn was mentioned earlier (not noted). Perhaps the same Shawn.

• 1:31:00 -- The alternate battle without the light sabers.

  • Directly accessible with VTS_06_1.VOB

• 1:32:45 -- Thanks:

  • Kathy, Weena(?) and Matt watched various versions and gave feedback.
  • Darren and Larry for providing sound technology information, Pro Logic
  • Paige, actor, fan and supporter
  • Darryl
  • Golden Holden "for seeing more in me than just some guy that re-edited a Star Wars film."
  • Best of Seven (?)
  • Bavo(?)
  • Shawn (presumably the writer he mentioned earlier)
  • Apple computers for providing nothing free of cost. Still waiting for that titanium laptop.
  • George Lucas.

• 1:36:45 -- Talking about bootlegging and piracy.

  • I don't know what "best of seven" means.. is that a band?
  • 1:40:00 -- Film colorization - Ted Turner

• 1:44:05 -- There is a very fast voice right at the end. Slowing it down doesn't make it understandable. It would have to be extracted and modified, and I can't be bothered to do that..

Other ∞

• VTS_06_1.VOB -- Alternate "battle" between Yoda and the other dude.

2016-04-02 ∞

• 3:00 -- That is an impressive ship.

  • However, see also Flight of the Navigator - (1986 movie).
• 5:15 -- Hehe, that one guy on the right has a dildo for a head.
• 6:30 -- Her hair looks wrong. Frizzy-odd wrong.

• 13:15 -- I presume R2-D2 informed the others of the trouble.

  • Though how the one dude got from the ground floor up here, in mere seconds, is beyond me.
• 14:30 -- So .. speeders can fly? I thought "speeder" was a generic term for the hovering-cars.
• 17:00 -- Hey look, free hand. I mean blaster, free blaster.
• 18:30 -- Travel as refugees? Is that because of the impending split?
• 20:30 -- Stare-rape. Eye-contact gives PTSD, I read it on the internets.
• 22:00 -- He's afraid? Fear leads to stuff and stuff leads to things and dark side etc.

• 27:00 -- Holy shit. Nice, uh, hair. Yeah, hair. That's it.

  • Going to one's parents' house is not a particularly good way to hide out.
• 32:00 -- You will make passionate love with me ^[ 2 ]waves hand
• 46:00 -- Did he say that thirty went out and four came back?
• 50:30 -- I thought Jedi could sense one another.
• 52:30 -- With great power comes gr-- ugh
• 57:30 -- Oh, he's going to have all the power. I must fall in love with him.
• 58:00 -- Yep, it's okay to have killed all the men. But definitely not those women or children.
• 1:00:00 -- Yeah, but not enough to have visited in the last ten years.
• 1:00:30 -- C-3P0 should remember Kenobi.
• 1:01:00 -- I remember her shirt being madly-distracting back then, and I still find it.. incredibly alluring.
• 1:02:00 -- When was it established that the kid follows orders?
• 1:06:00 -- Why didn't Duku take all that to the Jedi council? Why can he still not do it?
• 1:11:00 -- R2-D2 now has magical powers of jetpackery, because fuck the established universe.
• 1:16:00 -- Gods damn I wouldn't want her on top.
• 1:22:30 -- His dad's head falls out of his helmet.
• 1:23:00 -- Hey look, free senator.
• 1:31:30 -- That light sabre battle looks terribad.
• 1:33:00 -- While cool and all, how could a ship with solar sails get to hyperdrive speeds?

• 1:35:30 -- Begun, the clone wars has. Aah ahh? get it? GET IT?!?!?!

TO BE CONTINUED

BECAUSE GIVE US ALL YOUR MONEY

• 1:36:30 -- Why would they marry?
• Why would they marry before she got him a nice new hand. She's an ex-princess/queen and senator-person, and can probably get him a fucking glove at least.

• Why would they marry? Hasn't it been like.. a week since they met?