Supergirl is super, and something about the last of the fleet that isn't the last, and Leia is immortal and shit characters and shit writing.
The earlier movies are mandatory for this. If you thought the earlier movies were shit, then this is the nail in the coffin. Just let the franchise die.
Properly titled Star Wars: The Last Jedi
A Critique of Star Wars: The Last Jedi, by MauLer
- part 1
- part 2
- part 3
- This video series utterly obliterates the movie.
- It's also nice to re-read the following notes after watching it, because it appears I am also capable of catching things which experts do. Maybe one day I could slow down or re-watch something to actually take "proper" notes and make a "better" review, but I doubt that will ever happen.
- 5:00 -- Haha what? Oh, Disney.
- 5:30 -- Why don't any of them have fighters? They should have been out before the engagement.
- 6:30 -- Sigh, Disney.
- 6:45 -- What last transport? A moment ago none of them were away.
- 9:45 -- I notice an equality amount of wimminz. I guess I have to suspend an extra disbelief.
- 11:30 -- So, the thing about space is.. there's this vacuum thing.
- 14:00 -- Oh, I'm supposed to know who that is.
- 14:30 -- I'm supposed to know who this is.
- 17:30 -- Boy is that terrible graphics.
- 20:00 -- Did he teleport to that room?
- 22:30 -- Wow this is terrible.
- 32:00 -- Huh. She died. Explosions and getting sucked into space is dying.
- 32:45 -- Fuck. Right. Off. What the fucking fuckity fuck.
- 37:00 -- No, you're gonna die. You can't transmit, nobody will know you die.
- 41:45 -- Will we have an equality amount of every minority?
- 42:45 -- None of that made any sense at all. Also, why in the fuck is she alive?
- 46:30 -- New superpowers. Why is she magic again? Because reasons?
- 46:45 -- What the fuck is with the natives suddenly appearing?
- 51:15 -- You are a sphincteradark(?)
- 56:30 -- Oh fuck off, another social message.
- 57:30 -- He's armed?!
- 1:01:30 -- I'm sorry, did a force user think he was dead? Seriously?
- 1:08:45 -- A little E.T. the Extra-Terrestrial - (1982 movie) music got thrown in there.
- 1:33:45 -- Where'd they get the uniforms?
- 1:36:45 -- Firstly, why throw away a decent character? Secondly, why in the fuck would a captain go down with the ship when they have robots? Maybe ask the crew for a volunteer, because leadership is hard to come by.
- 1:40:00 -- No, none of that made any sense. There were transports leaving their big ship which was running out of fuel. Of course they were escape pods. Gun them down. What the hell, none of this makes sense.
- 1:46:15 -- Why doesn't she just push the sword through him? Why the fuck haven't either of them used the force?
- 1:55:00 -- Umm. There's no atmosphere in space.
- 1:55:45 -- Why would they stay near the door? This is stupid.
- 1:58:45 -- Doesn't it take, like, hours to get anywhere? Everything is next to one another here..
- 1:59:30 -- That looked like a bunch more ways to get out.
- 2:01:30 -- She's not a pilot is she?
- 2:06:00 -- Okay, now I have to make an uncomfortable point. This is exactly why mixed-gender or any other sexual tension cannot be allowed in the military. According to how things are going with this writing, the cannon fired and all the rebels are dead. Because feeeelings. Then they get caught and killed. She didn't save them. She's a fucking idiot. She's a fucking murderer.
- 2:07:15 -- And now they die. The cannon shoots again and they all die. God the writing fucking blows.
- 2:08:15 -- Now they die?
- 2:09:15 -- No, force and swordfighting and everyone stop for them to fight. Or just fucking blow them all away.
- 2:11:00 -- Fuck right off. So he's immortal now too.
- 2:17:00 -- Is this some sort of airbending thing?
- 2:19:15 -- Well I thought it was a hologram, but I guess it was close. Anyhow, this was a bunch of bullshit.
2:22:45 -- So why in the fuck is Leia alive? If the actor is dead, why keep the character?