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(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0437086/
https://family.20thcenturystudios.com/movies/alita-battle-angel [ 1 ]
A head is found in the garbage and is stitched back onto a body like science fiction necromancy.
A twelve-year-old-girl-friendly science fiction movie. It had such potential, but it absolutely ruined it by having no resolution.
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Everything Wrong With Alita: Battle Angel in 17 Minutes or Less
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Everything Wrong With CinemaSins: Alita Battle Angel in Just About 15 Minutes
- by Th3Birdman
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2019-02-27 ∞
My timing is a bit off..
- 3:00 — CREEPY
- 22:00 — How come she knows what a sword is?
- 38:15 — I know Kung Fu
- 51:00 — Would there be 300 year-old stale air in that ship?
- 55:45 — I’m here to register as an illegal alien.
- 58:00 — “Damascus blade” is likely a reference to Damascus steel.
- 1:04:30 — Killed a dog? See John Wick – (2014 movie).
- 1:10:45 — Put a bounty on her, she’s in a room full of hunters.. problem solved. Roll credits.
- 1:12:00 — A little older than he thought. That’s code for boobs, isn’t it?
- 1:24:00 — Also she doesn’t have an armored head, does she?
- 1:28:00 — Now he has Parcour superpowers, while wounded.
- 1:33:45 — Oh oh oh.. they called the name of the movie!
- 1:34:00 — So about that announcer sounding just like the guy from one of the Star Wars.
- 1:36:00 — What a handy dandy random thing to put in there for her.
- 1:37:00 — Well he didn’t say no quick enough..
- 1:40:00 — So about the others not going in after her..
- 1:49:00 — That was a shitty, predictable, ending.
- 1:54:00 — You have legs, you can pull him up that way.
- 1:54:30 — A second defense ring spirals down. Roll credits.
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1:55:00 — So how did she make it down? Why would she be playing in the rollerball pod racing whatever it’s called? Why would she be sent up if she wins? What the fuck.
So no final battle with the dark forces of Nova? No explanation of who he is? No “I’m an artificial intelligence in the sky” reveal? No revelation of her superpowered suit? I was expecting plasma wings and all that. This was fucking ruined.
TO BE CONTINUED.. or not.
