spiralofhope

Oh god, her eyebrows

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2239822/
http://stxfilms.com/valerian/

Something about a powerful thing that was taken, and a conspiracy. I guess.

Terrible. Simply terrible. A bad setup to the universe, a whole lot of shit pulled out of thin air.. generally bad writing and a bad mood. Bad pacing. Everything about it is terrible. Do not watch.

the timing is really rough on these notes

• 1:00 -- Space Oddity - (1969 song), by David Bowie
• 2:30 -- Wow, a little racism there.
• 3:30 -- Those golden wobbly aliens remind me of the ones in The Fifth Element - (1997 movie)
• 5:00 -- 400 years later.
• 5:30 -- For more aliens like that, see Avatar - (2009 movie).
• 6:00 -- Major fucking uncanny valley.
• 7:45 -- Will they play the role of the innocent aliens who dindu nothin.
• 9:15 -- This movie is fat shaming or some shit.
• 9:45 -- That much material entering would do a hell of a lot of damage.. for one it would heat the atmosphere enough to light everything on fire. I suppose magic science would slow things down without air friction, or whatever.
• 12:30 -- Wow.
• 12:45 -- She'd be hot if it weren't for those eyebrows. Those damned distracting eyebrows. At least dye them to match her drapes.
• 16:00 -- Okay, so this is a complete load of bullshit with no explanation.
• 19:30 -- Yeah, I actually guessed the proposal.
• 28:30 -- Bang.
• 32:00 -- God this is crap.
• 41:45 -- 700,000,000 miles isn't very far. Also, you'd think in 400 years they'd be metric. Fucking Americans-in-space.
• 44:30 -- I know that actor from somewhere or other. Didn't he play one of the James Bonds or something?
• 51:00 -- Fucking invented NPCs.
• 53:30 -- Bullshit magic. Such bad writing. Such a trash movie.
• 54:00 -- Maybe free everyone?
• 55:30 -- Just how many breaches has he caused?
• 56:30 -- See also G.I. Joe - The Rise of Cobra - (2009 movie) for more running through buildings.
• 58:00 -- Isn't the commander on board? Why try to destroy it?

• 59:00 -- Pulling another vehicle out of thin air.

Okay fuck this movie.. it's really shitty.