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(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0465494/

I’m not sure how to describe this movie. It’s .. it doesn’t have the sort of consistency that makes it stick in memory enough to try.

It both feels like it has a plot line and that it’s all over the place. Overall it neither crafts a “feeling” nor has memorable characters. It was watchable enough to get through it all without really cringing, but it’s definitely not re-watchable and I wouldn’t recommend it even as bubblegum viewing. It’s successor, Hitman – Agent 47 (2015)[doesn’t exist], is way better.

• Trailer

• Executive producer.. Vin Diesel? Oh.

1. Hitman – (2007 movie)

2. Hitman – Agent 47 – (2015 movie)

• 2015-12-29

2015-12-29 ∞

Well shit, I didn’t know this existed, and I saw the other one first.

• Opening with the singing is rather.. incorrect.

  • I recognize, but can’t name, the song.
• 1:30 — Very Dark Angel – (2000 show)
• 1:45 — Holy shit, I think that’s Geneva Locke, the actual actor that plays the young Max Guevara in Dark Angel – (2000 show)!
• 2:10 — Wait, what the fuck.. these really are scenes from Dark Angel.
• 5:10 — 3 months ago. “Shanty Town”, Niger.
• 8:15 — Saint Petersburg, Russia.
• 9:50 — This actor does not look the part.
• 13:20 — Well that was extra-public, destroying his case.
• 13:45 — Damn, the tattoo on the back of his head is just too public.
• 16:40 — The Russian secret police?
• 18:00 — Interpol
• 18:30 — “F.S.B.” is probably their Federal Security Service
• 20:10 — See also The Professional – (1994 movie)
• 23:30 — Your drive has been permanently erased.
• 23:45 — A wet man walking down the street barefoot? No problem.
• 25:30 — Central Intelligence Agency
• 28:00 — Fuck, that’s harsh!
• 32:00 — He has an obvious gait, outline and general look. Why doesn’t he at least change his clothes and wear a damned hat?
• 34:00 — Why does his tail hesitate and not just shoot him then and there?
• Why even chase him and not wait and get the drop on him some other time?
• 37:00 — Their wakizashi were not established. Neither was this sort of honour. Sigh.
• 40:20 — Big strong man, I must fall in love with him?
• 42:00 — Why would he survive that?
• 42:20 — Was he wearing a bulletproof vest?
• 44:25 — Aww, he was dubbed over.
• 45:30 — Torture-nudity. Not exciting.
• 46:25 — Why is she being kept alive again?
• 47:00 — Waiving his ID.
• 51:00 — Istanbul, Turkey
• 51:30 — Much much more exciting.
• 58:30 — Where the fuck is this all coming from? Big strong man I must sleep with him-syndrome?
• 1:03:00 — That’s not cover.
• 1:06:45 — First off, why isn’t all of that in the hands of the Russians? Second off, wh– oh, that’s how he got it all?
• 1:08:15 — So.. he’s doing all of this to protect her, for some reason?
• 1:15:50 — More dubbing.
• 1:16:30 — Having all the masked soldiers provides an opportunity for an assassin to replace one.
• 1:18:50 — Why would someone stand there like an idiot after two bullets are shot at them?
• 1:19:45 — Called it.
• 1:23:30 — That is so not cover.
• 1:24:00 — I’m pretty sure the gunship has rockets.
• 1:26:45 — He didn’t even flash his ID.

• 1:29:30 — Unnecessary lightning-drama.