Avengers – Endgame – (2019 movie)

2019-04-26
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(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4154796/
https://www.marvel.com/movies/avengers-endgame

An unlikely time-traveler reappears to help defeat a warlord who had unmade half the population of Earth five years ago.

Meh.

Followed by The Falcon and the Winter Soldier – (2021 show)



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Table of Contents [hide]

2021-08-22 ∞

  • 1:15 — He should have seen the dust floating away.
  • 4:45 — 7-Eleven
  • 6:15 — You know, it would be nice if they recapped what the heck was going on and why they’re there.
  • 7:30 — It’s captain Mary Sue Deus Ex Machina to the rescue.
  • 10:00 — 50% of all living creatures? Does that include plants? Is Thanos a vegetarian?
  • 12:00 — I don’t recall him being this thin and lispy the first time I saw this.
  • 14:15 — Oh fuck off you big Mary Sue Deus Ex Machina.
  • 14:30 — Yeah, but where the fuck were you, Mary Sue, when Thanos was here there and everywhere, including Earth? I guess she didn’t know.
  • 16:15 — So why exactly was there some big energy pulse, if all tha that happened was him creating this garden?

  • 17:00 — Why would his arm be like that? Don’t the stones work to save him?

    • 17:45 — Oh.

  • 19:30 — “I went for the head” is a reference to another movie, which we’re supposed to remember.

    • Also, that whole bit could have been done way better.

  • 20:15 — Five Years Later

    • That text appeared unnecessarily-slowly. For the pacing, it would have been fine to just have that wide slow aerial shot.
  • 20:45 — It’s a really big suspension of disbelief that people would be acting like this.
  • 21:30 — The fuck is this happening five years later?
  • 22:15 — San Francisco
  • 22:45 — How’d that plot-device-rat get in there?
  • 23:30 — That looks like a woman with a fake moustache.
  • 31:15 — Quantum physics
  • 34:45 — This comment is not related to the Doctor Who episode “Time Heist“
  • 38:45 — How about listening to their Dad?

  • 40:45 — “Was it tooth pup?”(?)

    • I had to turn on subtitles: “Was it juice pops?”
  • 41:00 — She needs to brush her teeth before bed.
  • 44:30 — Why the fuck wouldn’t they just keep a perfectly-functional young man?
  • 45:30 — None of that made sense, and none of that was time travel.

  • 46:45 — Percentmen(?) is corrosive

    • Subtitles: Resentment
  • 49:00 — The little sparks, as the truck dips down because of the weight, is a nice touch.

  • 59:15 —

  • 1:02:30 — Yeah, you have to pick your targets. Yes, this is what they already said. Thanks arrow-man.
  • 1:05:45 — Why does black Iron Man have big body armor?
  • 1:06:45 — Why would they all need to be on the same machine at the same time? It was perfectly capable of sending one person through at a time? It doesn’t need to have been built that big.

  • 1:11:30 — Since when did he have eyes of two different colors?

    • 1:29:15 — Oh, because reasons.
  • 1:12:30 — Oh, was he wearing his power armor?
  • 1:17:45 — Oh, they almost established awesome flicking-skill earlier, but they failed to take advantage of it here.
  • 1:12:30 — The fact that the shield-on-shield doesn’t destroy “Loki’s shield” means that it’s also vibranium.
  • 1:23:30 — I don’t understand why they can’t just collaborate with their counterparts in the past. They remove the stones from those timelines, also protecting them.
  • 1:33:45 — See also I, Robot – (2004 movie)
  • 1:35:45 — Can’t she press the button and return home?
  • 1:39:45 — Did he bring those fancy glasses with him?
  • 1:43:45 — Bee Gees
  • 1:59:30 — We’re supposed to know the link between gamma radiation and The Hulk?
  • 2:00:00 — Where the fuck did Iron Man get that shield from? Why can’t these movies establish his stuff?
  • 2:02:00 — Why would she be calling so soon? Maybe she had a phone in her pocket and she reappeared and all the plants had grown?
  • 2:02:45 — The use of the device should have been detected, even if somehow it was hacked, and the ship escaping should have set off alarm bells especially given that the place was on lockdown.
  • 2:04:15 — Good thing everyone had plot armor.
  • 2:07:00 — I can’t recall how Cap even got his shield back. Also, it would have been cool if he took both.
  • 2:10:00 — If only that little guy could be larger so he could get places faster..
  • 2:12:00 — Where’d that tech come from?
  • 2:16:15 — So why did Thanos leave them all alone?
  • 2:17:30 — I don’t understand where all those people came from.
  • 2:18:30 — I don’t think Cap understand what “assemble” means..
  • 2:20:00 — There’s a battle happening..
  • 2:26:15 — Oh fuck off with captain whatever.. fucking worthless character with shit writing and shit powers. Why even bother with anything ever?
  • 2:27:15 — AH MA GAD ITZ DA WAMANZ
  • 2:28:45 — Where’d that sudden strength come from?
  • 2:29:00 — How come captain whatever isn’t all super powerful all of a sudden?

  • 2:32:15 — Where’d he get that different armor from?

    • Also why the fuck did Iron Wife have a suit, and how does she know how to use it?
  • 2:35:15 — Can’t captainette just magic him back to health at the last second and save the day?
  • 2:37:45 — Why didn’t Thor clean himself up?
  • 2:39:30 — Sorry who is this character again? How close was she to Natasha? Why would she be tearing up at Iron Man or Natasha’s deaths?
  • 2:43:00 — That “I’m in charge” nonsense was long, drawn out, and completely uninteresting.
  • 2:46:15 — So wasn’t there some sort of timeline thing? I’m really confused as to how he stayed behind.

  • 2:46:30 — Did he have kids?

2019-04-26 ∞

As usual, the times are guesstimates.

  • 6:30 — I’m really confused about the whole beginning on the space ship thing. How much did I miss? Did I miss a movie? I feel like I missed a whole movie somehow.
  • 10:30 — “Build a bear(?)”
  • 14:00 — What’s her face is just as boring as ever. Just as arrogant. Fuck that character.
  • 15:45 — So there’s instantaneous travel?
  • 21:15 — Muh diversity. Met the 300% gay quota.
  • 28:30 — What was all that about?

  • 34:30 —

  • 35:30 — Back to the Future – (1985 movie)
  • 39:45 — Möbius strip
  • 41:00 — Brush her damned teeth.
  • 45:30 — None of that pseudo “time travel” made any sense.
  • 45:30 — EPR paradox

  • 57:45 — The Big Lebowski – (1998 movie)

    • .. which is exactly what I was thinking.

  • 59:15 — I have notes for a number of those references, which I’m not going to go find.

    • Also, all that explanation means that yes they could go back in time and safely interact with everything without consequence, essentially stealing a copy of the stones.
  • 1:00:45 — So it’s a time machine and also a space-machine?
  • 1:05:30 — How exactly would they get the time stone from Dr. Strange’s special amulet? Or from the previous keeper The Ancient One?
  • 1:06:30 — Jolly Green
  • 1:07:45 — What the fuck, how are they all not in their time travel suits all of a sudden?
  • 1:19:45 — Hulk should just jump down the whole way.
  • 1:20:00 — This scene is brought to you by Axe (brand)

  • 1:23:30 — So he lost the shield.

    • Oh, it does get recovered later.
  • 1:32:15 — Did.. he just take his hammer?
  • 1:37:00 — Oh he does have one of the shields.
  • 1:44:00 — Mungo Jerry
  • 1:58:45 — This scene is brought to you by Cheez Whiz
  • 2:04:15 — How did Mr. non-superhero Hawkeye survive?
  • 2:15:15 — Where’d the army come from? Presumably his ship..
  • 2:16:30 — Thanos is just chilling out watching..
  • 2:19:15 — What’s the deal with other Iron Man?
  • 2:20:45 — Casual misandry.
  • 2:21:45 — I don’t remember Ant Manette.
  • 2:27:00 — It’s their savior. Captainette Marvelle. With her stuperpower of movie-ending. Nobody else was required, why write a plot? She is Jesus!
  • 2:27:00 — DON’T WORRY LITTLE MAN THE WAAAHMANZ ARE HERE!!
  • 2:30:30 — Someone explain what just happened. How does he have the stones?
  • 2:34:00 — Why would the light go out? It’s been pulled off before, and it still glowed.

  • 2:38:00 — So about returning the time stone(s) or whatever..

    • Oh, it does get covered later.
  • 2:42:45 — This scene is drawn out.

  • 2:46:45 — Who is that again? I can’t remember any of this shit.

    • 2:47:30 — Captain diversity hire.
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