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(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0411477/
https://www.uphe.com/movies/hellboy-ii-the-golden-army

The son of a demon king, destined to destroy the world and all humanity, is just an average guy in a difficult relationship trying to save the world. Or something.

A forgettable movie made all the more terrible because of its attachment to its parent. This movie lacks anywhere near that movie’s theme or mood. This is a joke semi-fantasy film.

• Properly titled Hellboy II: The Golden Army

• Follows Hellboy – (2004 movie)

• Everything Wrong With Hellboy II: The Golden Army

  • CinemaSins

2016-10-20 ∞

In 1944 a team of paranormal researchers,
together with the US Army, rescued a strange
creature during a classified mission off the
coast of https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Scotland.

• 0:45 — Reading

Secretly adopted, this creature
now lives among us.

It loves candy and TV.

code name: Hellboy

• 1:00 — And the picture is still black and white.. and red.

• Douglas Army Base, N.M. – Christmas Eve, 1955

  • N.M.?
• 2:00 — Talking about what’s real..

• 8:30 — The sewer cover says Manhattan Born

  • (United States)
• 8:30 — Manhattan – September 26th – 20:00 hrs (8 pm)
• 13:00 — YouTube

• 15:30 —

  • CD = Compact disc
  • 8-track tape
  • Oldies
• 16:00 — Why does every movie fuck around with hair?!
• 16:15 — So.. they’re living together? That’s.. that just doesn’t seem right for those two.
• 17:30 — Antarctica
• 23:15 — Well I see she has plot armour.
• 24:00 — Fucking shark-jumping..
• .. too much subtitling.

• 38:30 — Brooklyn Bridge 03:30 hrs (3 am)

  • New York City United States
• 40:30 — SS = Schutzstaffel (ᛋᛋ)

• 41:15 — Under the Brooklyn Bridge – 04:57 hrs

  • Fuck off with the military time..
• 42:30 — Canary (Yellow canary)
• .. all of this is feeling very Harry Potter.
• 44:00 — Canned meow.
• 45:00 — So I have seen this movie before.. and it was so forgettable that I only just caught on.

• 51:15 — .. and… he dies.

  • Oh, but now they’re superheroes or some shit.
• 54:45 — So.. they’re talking in plain sight now.
• 56:45 — Shoot him?
• 59:45 — I thought he got a bigger gun.
• 1:01:45 — People just milling about..
• 1:04:45 — “That is his hand” was stolen from, what, one of the X-Men movies?
• 1:08:00 — Alfred, Lord Tennyson
• 1:13:30 — Antonio Vivaldi, Il cimento dell’armonia e dell’inventione
• 1:59:30 — Can’t Smile Without You (1977 song), by Barry Manilow

• 1:34:45 — I heard “You have to give up..”

  • See also The Matrix – (1999 movie).
• 1:35:15 — I don’t want it. I want an abortion.

• 1:36:15 — “I’m not very good at steps.”

  • “Stairs!!” (Borderlands 2 – (2012 game))

• 1:38:30 — The princess is, of course, going to kill herself to save Abe. That much was clear a long time ago.

  • 1:48:00 — Well I was close.
• 1:50:00 — Now go kill their creator.

• 1:51:00 — No, he really can’t just quit. He’ll be put away for all the crimes he’s committed.

2009-01-01 ∞

A generally disappointing story.

• Shoot the dude in the head before he throws the seed. Movie over.
• Girl kills herself a long time ago. Movie over.
• Abe shouldn’t be able to get that near to fiery girl.
• Abe doesn’t need a breather inside? Wtf.
• Abe doesn’t get hurt after that ogre fight? Lame.

• Red resuscitation should be “you can’t die, because you’re the one, Neo”.

  • The Matrix – (1999 movie)