sword and sorcery movies

All posts tagged sword and sorcery movies

Star Wars - Episode I - The Phantom Menace - (1999 movie) poster

Entertainment > Movies >
Star Wars >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0121765/
https://starwarsfans.fandom.com/wiki/The_Phantom_Edit
(website, archive)

An assassination attempt on a senator gets her two superpowered-bodyguards, one of whom has the hots for her and whose investigation leads to a mystery that has remained shrouded for ten years.

While nowhere near as good as Star Wars Episode I.II – The Phantom Edit – (2000 movie) is compared to its source, Attack of the Phantom is an adequate watch and certainly head and shoulders above its source. Unfortunately this movie also requires Star Wars – Episode III – Revenge of the Sith – (2005 movie) be watched immediately afterwards, and since there was never a phantom edit made of that I don’t know if I can recommend this.

It’s flagged as disliked, but I don’t feel that I wasted my time watching it. I just feel let down by the ending.


Star Wars - The Rise of Skywalker - (2019 movie) poster

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2527338/
https://www.starwars.com/films/star-wars-episode-ix-the-rise-of-skywalker

Supergirl supers superly.

Oh my god this is trash from every angle. Bad writing, bad acting, bad .. just bad everything everywhere always. It has no high points. Disney can suck a dick.

  • AKA Star Wars: Episode IX – The Rise of Skywalker


Solo - A Star Wars Story - (2018 movie) image

Entertainment > Movies >
Star Wars >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3778644/

A prequel adventure with the eponymous Han Solo. It has no excitement since with a prequil there can’t be any sense of accomplishment without any chance of failure.

A franchise so strong I didn’t even know this movie was released or was even being made.

Not recommended, even for fans. It gives and does nothing. It’s vaguely entertaining.



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Luke's character is on the poster but not in the movie
Luke's character is on the poster but not in the movie

Entertainment > Movies >
Star Wars >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2527336/
https://www.starwars.com/films/star-wars-episode-viii-the-last-jedi

Supergirl is super, and something about the last of the fleet that isn’t the last, and Leia is immortal and shit characters and shit writing.

The earlier movies are mandatory for this. If you thought the earlier movies were shit, then this is the nail in the coffin. Just let the franchise die.

  • Properly titled Star Wars: The Last Jedi

See also:



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Star Wars - Episode I - The Phantom Menace - (1999 movie) poster

Entertainment > Movies >
Star Wars >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.starwars.com/films/star-wars-episode-i-the-phantom-menace
https://www.lucasfilm.com/productions/episode-1/
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0120915/

Do not watch this! Instead watch the fan edit Star Wars Episode I.II – The Phantom Edit – (2000 movie). Even at its much lower quality it’s head and shoulders above this movie.



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Charging a greenhouse.
Charging a greenhouse.

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0084749/

It should be summarized as: A noble kingdom is taken by force, forcing a prince to flee and live a life that turns to adventure, to later return to contest for the throne.

However. However it’s all over the place. It doesn’t properly delve into any aspect, and doesn’t properly string things together. It has all the elements of a good, or at least fair, movie, but it wasn’t written well.



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Immortals - (2011 movie) poster

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1253864/
was immortalsmovie.com

A warlord seeks to unleash the enemies of the gods to kill them.

While watchable, I would only recommend it to fans of the sword and sandal genre who can also stand the “quality” that Hollywood offers.



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The Mummy - Tomb of the Dragon Emperor (2008) poster

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0859163/
https://www.uphe.com/movies/the-mummy-tomb-of-the-dragon-emperor

Seeking ancient Egyptian treasure Chinese artifacts, archaeologists unleash a curse that threatens the world. Only this time it’s about an ancient warlord’s cursed terracotta army.

Decently follows in the footsteps of the previous two movies, though replacing Rachel Weisz with Maria Bello is a terrible distraction. Anyone who likes the other two movies ought to like this one reasonably well. I think this is worth watching once or twice, but certainly hasn’t enough soul for collection like the first movie.

  • Properly titled The Mummy: Tomb of the Dragon Emperor
  • Some small scenes are spoken entirely in the Chinese language, probably Mandarin / Standard Chinese.



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The Scorpion King 4 - Quest for Power (2015) image

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3086386/
was the-scorpion-king.com

A man.. uh.. something about some mercenary missions and people dying and a magic thing and such.

I only saw this out of reverence to The Scorpion King – (2002 movie). Oh gods, the badness-potential of this genre is astonishing. Ignore this, and go watch Hercules – The Legendary Journeys – (1995-1999 show) instead. It is the gold standard of badness.

I think what really offends me about The Scorpion King (2,3,4) is that they cost money to watch, where a TV show would have been (more or less) free.



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The Scorpion King 3 - Battle for Redemption (2012) image

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1781896/

A bounty hunter hunts a bounty but there’s a princess therefore save the princess instead.

Oh god, this is like an episode of Hercules – The Legendary Journeys – (1995-1999 show). Old school TV-quality, reasonably fun for low expectations.

This is riding on the coat tails of the earlier actual-movie, desperately hoping that fans will consider all of this a “series”. Sigh, it is not.



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