the past

All posts tagged the past

Arabian Nights – (1942 book)

2016-03-11
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Arabian Nights (1942) poster

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0034465/

A king’s brother takes the throne, assuming his brother is assassinated, but that brother works to regain power.

An obvious storyline, with all the cheese of old movies. I’m sure this is fantabulous and all that, but it is dry intellectual-bubblegum, with corny comedy so bad it distracts from any chance of appreciation I might have of it.

I don’t know that this was inspired by a story in One Thousand and One Nights – (book), by various



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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon – Sword of Destiny – (2016 movie)

2016-03-08
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Crouching Tiger, Hidden Dragon - Sword of Destiny (2016) poster

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt2652118/

Something about a sword that’s a greenish, and some people who fight and think fighting is cool because of honour and all that.

I also think there’s a Princess Leia/Luke Skywalker thing happening, but I was too distracted by the terrible mixing of accents.

Like superhero movies, this genre has completely worn out its welcome. I’m no longer interested in the same old shit, and even the attempts at story telling have become bland to me. Its scenery and music have become samey and aren’t going to make up for the lack of captivating characters and a solid story. Overused wire-jumps are not exciting. And stop with that screeching sound when swords are un/sheathed.



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The Viking Sagas – (1995 movie)

2016-02-14
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The Viking Sagas (1995) image

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0114851/

A prince struggles to avenge his father and free his country.

While watchable, it’s not particularly impressive. It’s not that it’s old, or B-movie or anything like that. It’s reasonable, but feels, somehow, “poor”. Not poor as in bad, but poor as in without wealth. It’s simple. Other than that, I have no complaints other than the lead character has a thick German accent. Like seriously thick. Like what the fuck were you thinking, thick. It’s like The 13th Warrior – (1999 movie) which had one guy with a crazy Irish accent.



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Dragonheart 3 – The Sorcerer’s Curse – (2015 movie)

2016-01-15
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Dragonheart 3 - The Sorcerer's Curse (2015) image

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt3829170/
https://www.uphe.com/movies/dragonheart-3-the-sorcerers-curse

A dragon, having, for unknown reasons, landed as a meteorite but on top of a clutch of eggs and somehow not damaging them, heals a not-knight who risked his life for the eggs but actually to steal them is cursed to become the slave of a druid who is for some reason called a sorcerer.

This is basically a high-quality TV-movie but released for the big screen. It’s not dependent on the other movies in this series, which is probably for the best. It’s not great, not particularly good and only worth a one-time watch for people who are fans of this sort of genre.

  • This is a prequel to the series, set about 100 years before the first movie.

  • Properly titled Dragonheart 3: The Sorcerer’s Curse



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Dragonheart – A New Beginning – (2000 movie)

2016-01-15
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Dragonheart - A New Beginning (2000) image

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0214641/

The last dragon has been hidden away for fear of his corruption as foretold by a prophesy, but he is discovered by an equally-innocent youth looking for fame, fortune and adventure.

As a TV-movie, it’s not horrible. It’s still most definitely a TV-movie though. This is not B-quality, just TV-quality. Overall it’s not terrible, just not my thing. It very slightly borrows from DragonHeart – (1996 movie), but the proper movie is not mandatory watching.

  • Properly titled Dragonheart: A New Beginning



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DragonHeart – (1996 movie)

2016-01-14
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DragonHeart (1996) poster

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0116136/
https://www.uphe.com/movies/dragonheart

A king, resurrected with half of a dragon’s heart, rules with an iron fist but is opposed by his former-mentor, a former dragon-slayer now allied with that last dragon who has the remaining half of the king’s heart.

A fine, action-heavy, fantasy. Has a lot of recognizable stars.



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Blood – The Last Vampire – (2009 movie)

2016-01-14
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Blood - The Last Vampire (2009) poster

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0806027/
was lastblood.asmik-ace.co.jp
was sonypictures.com/movies/bloodthelastvampire

Vampires are real, and a secret council, whose formation is never explained, support a good-vampire on her mission to mercilessly slaughter bad-vampires in search for the worst-vampire who she was told killed her father.

For a while I was quite captivated by this movie. It was good in every respect, but it seemed to take a turn for the worse half way through, and just kept sliding. Overall it’s good, but elements of it are too similar to other famous movies for me to really find it interesting, especially since those elements are rushed.

It’s decent enough to recommend for a one-time watch.


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The Lone Ranger – (2013 movie)

2016-01-09
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The Lone Ranger (2013) poster

Entertainment > Movies >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt1210819/
https://movies.disney.com/the-lone-ranger

A child with an allergy to peanuts hallucinates an indian statue as Tonto telling him a story with the Lone Ranger.

Johnny Depp has started taking terrible cornball roles, and this movie is a steaming pile of shit. His native-American character feels cringeworthingly blackface-esque. I can see how the occasional comedic bit can make a movie fun, but the entire spirit of this movie feels just a touch too serious for there to be the right comedy-adventure feeling like that in Pirates of the Caribbean꞉ The Curse of the Black Pearl – (2003 movie).



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The Frankenstein Chronicles – (2015 show)

2016-01-04
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The Frankenstein Chronicles (2015-) poster

Entertainment > Television >

(on Wikipedia)
https://www.imdb.com/title/tt4206804/

After a stitched-together corpse is found, it is determined that children have been going missing.

Featuring a Sean Bean who is restrained from acting, this plodding may as well-be documentary features people with an English accent doing stuff and caring about things. It is neither captivating nor even interesting.


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